Frozen In Ink
by singyouhome
Summary: Lucas & Lindsey marry leaving Peyton heartbroken. Haley asks Nathan for a divorce after he has an affair with Nanny Carrie. Both trying to drown their pain, they get drunk and nothing is ever the same again. Eventually LucasPeyton NathanHaley BrookeJulian
1. Story Information

**Frozen in Ink**

**Fandom:**

One Tree Hill

**Ships:**

Lucas/Peyton

Lucas/Lindsey

Nathan/Haley

Nathan/Peyton

Nathan/Brooke

Nathan/Lindsey (Implied)

Nathan/Nanny Carrie (Implied)

Julian/Brooke

Julian/Peyton (Implied)

**Rated T For:**

Sexual Content

Alcohol Use

Language

Addiction

Pregnancy

And other mature content.

*Personally I don't care how old you are, they are a lot of mature readers, and a lot of immature readers. If you can be mature enough and take the story seriously, then you can read.*

**Setting:**

Season five starting at Lucas and Lindsey's wedding. (Episode 100)

**Full Summary: **

Lucas and Lindsey marry leaving Peyton heartbroken. Haley can no longer stand having Nathan around after he had an affair with Nanny Carrie, and finds out he's struggling with a sex addiction so she tells him she wants a divorce. Both trying to drown their broken hearts in alcohol, they find themselves drunk. After that night everything is never the same again. Eventually Lucas/Peyton, Nathan/Haley, and Julian/Brooke.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own One Tree Hill. Maybe one day I'll be awesome like Mark Schwahn and create my own show but for right now I play around with other peoples. The show belongs to the CW. (Formerly the WB.)I also don't own any of the songs which lyrics I may display. They belong to the artist(s) and the record companies. I'm hopefully not infringing on any copyright. You wouldn't want to sue me anyway, what could you honestly get from a fourteen year old girl?

**Author Note:**

I know some of these questions are going to come to me eventually so I might as well go ahead, and say what I have to say. I WOULD NEVER EVER, EVER, WANT THIS TO HAPPEN ON OTH! Just so we are clear. This idea just came to me. I really don't know how or why, but my brain is amazing, and I must make my muse happy. :D I am a die heart Lucas/Peyton fan. I wish a guy would write a book about how much he loves me. (He really loves her, I know) But I also just started watching in Season 5. (Please don't get upset with me, I'm going on what I know.) But I'm trying to catch up on seasons I haven't watched. (I did start watching the beginning of season 1, and I adore Lucas/Peyton then so really I don't think I'll change my mind.) Nathan doesn't seem to me like he'd even be a womanizer, but hey, this is fiction. Did you hear me? FICTION! It's funny because now, I feel like my lifelong goal of TV writing will be in use for soap operas. (And I don't want to do that) Listen, I don't think Nathan is capable of such crimes, but I think in the end you'll be happy. If you are Lucas/Peyton fans and/or Nathan/Haley fans hang on. I promise the ending I have in mind, you'll sort of like the result. Don't get mad, if you don't like the story or my writing style, please I ask that you don't leave me nasty comments, like "Leyton sucks." Or "Why the hell did you do this?" That's first off mean and secondly will destroy my inspiration. This idea is hopefully going to be a very long story. (Hopefully) So I need as much of it as I can. If you have any questions, ask, but I'm not giving out spoilers. (Even though I love them) Just because I'm a sadist. (Just kidding: D) But how will I keep you on your toes? Enjoy this, and please be gentle (or not) Comments are always nice, even if your telling me that I made so many spelling mistakes, you don't even know what I'm saying. Please no character bashing or couple bashing. If you post something mean, I'll delete and then stop writing. You never know where I'll go, so stay tuned.

Thanks again!

Love,  
Kelsey


	2. Prolouge: My Someday Could Have Been Now

**Frozen in Ink**

**Prologue: My Someday Could Have Been Now- Peyton**

"_I didn't say no! I said someday, Luke!"-Peyton Sawyer_

She walks down the aisle so gracefully, so beautifully, that I actually think she could be better than I could ever be, at her new job, Lucas's wife. While everyone has their full attention on her, I turn quickly to Lucas, just to see his reaction. He looks happy. That's what I want for him, right? Lindsey reaches the area where Luke, Haley, and Nathan are standing. She hands her flowers to Haley, and I finally get a chance to really look at her. Her wedding dress is beautiful. It's that pretty shade of white, and the bottom is full of detail. It's a B. Davis design alright. Those lilies in her hand could be my flowers. The dress on her body could be on me. But instead I sit here on the groom's side, clutching Brooke's hand. My body is stiff, the air around me cold. I'm holding my breath waiting to hear that famous line, _"Does anyone here object this union? Speak now or forever hold your peace."_ But that never happens in real life, and I could never dream of drugging Lindsey like Skills suggested. The preacher instead asks another famous quote from weddings, movies or not. _"Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"_ Brooke squeezes my hand tighter, like she's having a labor pain. She's not about to loose the love of her life to some other woman. But yet she feels my pain. _"P. Sawyer."_ She whispers in my ear. But I don't hear it. Instead I hear something I told Luke a long time ago. Two years in fact_. "I'm not saying no, I'm saying someday. We're only nineteen."_ But were not nineteen anymore. We're twenty-two. He found someone else. I had always thought he'd written the book for me to come back to him, but instead he found Lindsey. _"I do."_ I hear him say. My heart is breaking in this moment. He promised her the world; he was giving his heart away to her, when he already promised it to me. I feel like sobbing but instead, hold my head up high. I thought Lucas might look up at me, try to find my eyes but instead he keeps his eyes on her, never glancing away. The preacher turns to Lindsey and asks her the same question. _"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" _ I clasp my eyes shut. Time has stopped. I mean forget what Einstein said, I think Lucas, Lindsey, the rest of the wedding guests, and I have just defied laws of physics. I want to scream, stand up and tell Lucas that he can't marry her. It's impossible, when he still loves me, when I still love him. I can feel all of our memories build up in a wave inside of me. The kissing, the talking, and the love we made, it all rushes out of me when she smiles and says, _"I do."_ The preacher man smiles and says, _"I now pronounce you husband and wife."_ I open my eyes feeling the tears begin to spill out. Lucas lifts up her veil and envelopes her in a deep but sweet kiss. Mouth, Millie, Skills, and Brooke all touch my shoulder. Lucas and I were supposed to be married and live in the house, they now share. We were supposed to be forever. Mr. and Mrs. Scott run down the aisle holding hands laughing. The wave finally bursts out, in a huge amount of sobs. I can't control the crying. It's really over. It's so impossible to me, I can't believe this. My someday could have been now.

**TBC**


	3. 1: One Drink

**Frozen in Ink**

**Chapter 1: One More Drink**

"_Excuse me please, one more drink. Could you make it strong? Because I don't need to think she broke my heart. My grace is gone. One more drink and I'll be gone"_

_- Dave Matthews Band (Grace is Gone)_

The wedding is over, and Nathan didn't have to pretend to be happy for Luke anymore. In fact, he got to sink in his own despair while asking the bartender to pour him another drink. Haley told him she was done. She was done with his lies, the addiction he kept so close to his heart. He needed to be out of their house, he needed to get away from Jamie. He could no longer blame it on Nanny Carrie or anyone else. He could only blame himself. _"Vodka, straight."_ He said tipping his glass. The bartender nodded and took the glass away. He was so sick to his stomach he couldn't move, he couldn't think. Right now, Lucas was on a plane, going to Hawaii with his new wife. He couldn't talk to him. And even if he could his brother would most likely not agree with him anyway. Lucas was Haley's best friend.

"_Maybe we should spend some more time apart." _Haley said breathing out a gush of air. _"Hales I'm tired of this. I want to come home!" _ It was after Lucas and Lindsey's wedding reception and the two had gone upstairs to their bedroom to talk. Nathan wanted to talk about coming home; Haley had something else on her mind. _"You can't Nathan! I'm sorry, but what you did was wrong!" _Haley took her high heels off and pulled her hair back out of her face. _"What else could I possibly say?" _He asked his hands in his pocket. _"There is nothing left to say Nate." _ Haley exhaled trying to stay calm. Haley pulled out the luggage from under the bed, the bed where they made love countless times, and cuddled up close so many nights to go to sleep. _"What do you mean?" _ Nathan asked her tears coming up to his eyes. _"Nathan," _She breathed trying to keep her own tears from spilling out of her eyes. _"I think you should leave, please just pack up the rest of your things and go." "Hales!" _Nathan said putting his head in his hands. _"For how long?" _He asked. _"For good Nathan. I want a divorce." _

"_Vodka."_ The bartender said placing the beverage in front of him. _"Thanks man." _Nathan said, and then gulped the beverage down. Nathan mind begin to wonder, after he called to the man for another round. He thought of his suitcase sitting in his trunk right now, he thought of Jamie, going to sleep right now, he thought about how much he'd give up for him. He thought of Haley and he thought of how much his heart was broken, and how maybe another drink just might be able to fix it.

"_P. Sawyer! What the hell are you doing?"_ Peyton laughed as she stumbled into the house. _"Well Hiyah Brooke!" _ Peyton said with a huge smile on her face. _"You're drunk." _Brooke said. _"Noooo! I'm not dunk!! In fact I only had one or maybe seven margaritas. _Brooke rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. _"Come on mommy! I'm fine! Let's have a drink!" _Brooke laughed at tumbled on the couch with Peyton. _"Yeah. How 'bout some coffee?" "With Kailua?"_ Peyton asked, eyes shinning. _"P. I know you're upset but c'mon..." "I'm not upset. C'mon that sexy new bartender is waiting." "I think I'm gonna sit this one out Peyt." _Brooke said shaking her head. Peyton grabbed her purse and tried to straighten out the wrinkles in her dress. Brooke knew she honestly couldn't stop Peyton from walking out the door. She was twenty-two, a grown woman, for god sakes. _"At least let me drop you off, you can't afford a DUI either." _Brooke said putting on her brave face_. _And with that Peyton and Broke walked out of the house.

Brooke watched Peyton stumble out of the car and into the bar. Who had ever heard of an already drunk person, going into a bar to get even more wasted? Brooke brushed her dark brown hair out of her eyes and tried to hold back her tears. At Luke's wedding Peyton didn't see anything. She just sat at the bar drinking, until last call, which was about eight. Brooke had to leave, she felt sick watching Luke and Lindsey together, so she left, and asked Mouth to drive Peyton back home. She knew this was something Peyton had to go through. All she could do was be there for her, Because in her darkest hour, she'd need P. Sawyer but probably a few Cosmos as well.

Peyton stumbled into the bar, to find Nathan on a stool. She walks over and sits next to him. They don't speak, she just watches him drink, and he notices her green eyes on him. _"How are you?"_ He asks turning toward her. _"Not good."_ She admits. He smiles as he smells the alcohol on her breath. _"Jeez Sawyer! How much have you had to drink?"_ Peyton rolls her eyes. _"How about you? God you smell like a vodka bottle."_ _"Peyton you smell too."_ Nathan says matter of factly Nathan motions the bartender. "_Can we get some shots over here?"_ He asks. The man nods. _"So are we celebrating?_" She asks. "_Something like that."_ Nathan says smiling.

The problem is that when you think some distant time ago, that you could never get any drunker, it's humanly impossible, think again. Peyton threw back another shot. She could no longer control anything. Just swallowing and telling Nathan all the things swimming in her mind. _"And then she said she wanted a divorce."_ Nathan told her. _"I'm sorry. She doesn't know what she's missing. You're great in bed." _Nathan laughed. "_I think that was part of my problem Peyton. All I wanted out of life was sex, I had a fucking affair. With our nanny! What the hell was I thinking?" _Peyton tucked a piece of her curly blonde hair back behind her ear. _"I don't know. But maybe it was a bad idea to come after Lucas. He obviously no longer loves me. He married __**her**__." _Nathan shook his head taking another shot off the tray. _"The problem is that it's all over. You and Lucas, me and Haley, It's done. It really hurts to know that I'll never be with her again. But I have a piece of her left." "What could that be?" _ She asked taking a shot off the tray and swallowing it. _"Jamie." _He said looking down at his lap. _"But you…" _Nathan started. _"But I have his books." _ They both sat there in silence and thought which record of their relationship was worse. The one that was living or the one that would surpass time.

At 2 o'clock Brooke began to worry. She felt like a mother waiting for her teen to come home after staying out past curfew, but she never had a mother who ever really gave a damn anyway, so maybe she saw some worried mom do this on some TV show. Brooke sat on the couch and flipped through that month's issue of B. Davis. She then closed it and flipped the TV on. After a few minutes she flipped it back off. Brooke tried to remind herself that Peyton is a grown woman that she can take care of herself. But it breaks her heart to see her best friend like that. Brooke gets up and walks into Peyton's room. She knows what she's looking for, even it's exact place. Peyton swore they burned her last copy but Brooke knows better. She opens her top dresser drawer and moves Peyton's socks and underwear until she finds what she's looking for, Lucas's book. Brooke moves everything to back where it was before and closes the drawer. She looks back at Peyton's bed and frowns. To Brooke this new beginning seems like a bad start, because in the end of something like this it always leads up to someone's demise.

Peyton looks up at him, and smiles. This is what she wants, this is what she needs. Nathan reaches underneath Peyton trying to unzip her dress. The back of his car is more unfamiliar then it ever has been before. It's not the same car as in high school, but yet, Peyton feels like she should have been more prepared for this. Nathan gets the dress off of her and begins to kiss her neck. _"Peyt."_ He says grin on his face as he nuzzles her neck. She's drunk to think about, whether this is wrong, and to drunk to even care. This is her release. For all she knows, Lucas is probably fucking Lindsey at this exact moment. She begins to work on the buttons of his dress shirt, and her lips meet his. Nathan runs his tongue over her mouth and she lets him in. Nathan arches his shoulder as his shirt is pulled off. The kiss deepens as more clothing is pulled off. The car windows are all steamed up leaving Peyton and Nathan giggling. _"Peyton," _He whispered, it's so loaded. Reminding her of the first time she ever had sex. Their first time. She nods. Then the car in the parking lot of Tric begins to rock back in forth. And so, history repeats itself again, for Peyton and Nathan. In the backseat of his car.

**TBC**


	4. 2: Real World

**Frozen in Ink**

**Chapter 2: Real World**

"_This is the real world P. Sawyer. You've got to fight back."- Brooke Davis_

Peyton woke up, in her bed. Her dress was half zipped, her hair a mess, and with the worse pounding headache she had ever had in her life. Peyton sat up and scratched her head. _"Brooke!"_ Peyton yells putting her head in her hands. _"Yes, P. Sawyer." _Brooke said in a sing-song standing in her doorway. _"UHH! Don't do that!" _Peyton said covering her ears and collapsing back on her bed. _"Sorry, Peyton. But it is one o'clock in the afternoon. I let you sleep all day." _ Brooke walked over to the bed and lay down beside her. _"How did I get home?" _Peyton asked rubbing her eyes. _"Nate. I think. You were both pretty drunk." _ Peyton sat up, trying to remember what happened last night. _"I need coffee, and aspirin. I need a hell of a lot of aspirin." "Peyton, what is it?" _Brooke asked, sitting up too. Peyton shook her head. _"Nothing, nothing." "Don't lie to me, Peyton." _ Peyton tried to gather her thoughts, and fill in all the black holes in her mind. Peyton took a deep breath. _"I think… I think… I think Nathan and I slept together."_

Nathan stood outside of the apartment door, he closed his eyes trying to block out the throbbing in his head. Today he had to ask his friend, if he could stay with him. He thought of Haley and Jamie. They were probably up and getting ready for the day. Jamie was probably sitting at the island in the kitchen eating frosted flakes, his favorite. Haley was probably packing his lunch. Nathan frowned. He should be there. Haley and Jamie are his family. But instead he was standing outside of Mouth's apartment door, about to ask him if he could stay with him. Shaking his head he firmly knocked on the door, he waited until Mouth opened the door, and saw the suitcase next to him. _"What's up Nate?" "Do you think I could stay with you for awhile?" _Mouth smiled and opened the door wider. Letting Nathan in, not even knowing the sin on his skin.

"_What?" _Brooke wanted nothing more than to slap her in the face, but she held back and looked at her best friend confused. _"Nathan and I had sex." _Peyton said looking down. _"Peyton…" "We were both drunk B. And pretty upset." _Brooke shook her head still confused. _"P. He's married." "Haley asked Nathan for a divorce, Brooke. Not that it makes what I did right, it's just that… Well I feel bad about it, but it was one night and…" "It's okay Peyt I understand. I've messed up too." _Brooke wrapped her arms around Peyton and they hug. Letting go is stupid. Because if Peyton did, she'd just be letting go of the only thing she has left anymore, her best friend.

If Haley James Scott knows anything it is that Lucas Scott, her best friend, will be giving her a call in the next hour. He'll ask her about life and boy will she have some news to share with him. She wondered if one day Lucas would wake up and began to resent Lindsey. If one day he would wake up and see that it was a mistake marrying her when he was in love with Peyton Sawyer, and probably would be for the rest of his life. Haley wasn't the kind of girl who thought true love didn't exist. Even though her marriage crumbled up in front of her, like one of those paper balls her students toss into the trashcans across the class room, she still believed that what she had with Nathan was real. In fact Haley James Scott knew that Nathan Scott was the love of her life. This was why she asked for a divorce, because in a weird way she didn't want to have to one day look back on her marriage and resent him. Haley would always be in love with him, so she choose to let him go, deal with his issue. Her heart would always be opened to him, ready when his heart was healed, when his addiction no longer needed to be fed. In that way she would always be like Peyton Sawyer. Waiting for her comet to find its way back to her. The light was dimming in her universe, and all she needed was her one.

"_So, here is the guest bedroom, Nate. I don't know what's going on. But you're welcome to use it as long as you need." _Mouth said as he showed Nathan the spare bedroom in his apartment. Skills use to stay here but he told Marvin a few weeks ago he found his own place, and had overstayed his welcome._ "Thanks a lot man." _Nathan said and set his suitcase at the foot of the double bed. _"Well I gotta get down to the station. I'll see you later." _Mouth waved and walked out the door. Nathan was alone now. He was really alone. His best friend and older brother would probably turn his back on him once he found out. Haley and Jamie were gone for good. Peyton, he'd blown that last night, by sleeping with her. Nathan knew it was a mistake. He was drunk. He should've had more self control. But these days, that didn't matter. Anything with womanly parts that moved attracted him. His love for Haley couldn't even hold him back. After his accident the drugs helped his pain, physical and emotional. Then they were taken away and he had nothing but a bruised ego and a depression that wouldn't brake. He tried the alcohol which worked for awhile but it turned Haley against him. He cleaned up with a little help from Nanny Carrie and soon he and Haley were again a couple. You know, they had sex. It amazed him what a high it was. It was mind blowing. Then the attention from Nanny Carrie came, and well he made a few too many mistakes after that.

"_I'm not allowed to cry." _Peyton told herself. When people mourn the ones they've lost they are usually allowed to cry, but that person is normally not alive and well on their honeymoon. Peyton cuddled up on the couch, The Way We Were was on the TV but she wasn't paying much attention. The movie didn't have a happy ending, which didn't give her very much hope these days. Brooke had gone off to the store. She had to live and Peyton couldn't hold her back. Customers liked to shop on the weekends, and the store was too busy to for Millie to handle on her own, so Brooke left. _**People always leave**__._ The thing that hurt Peyton must have been the fact that he was well gone; he had the guts to kiss her, he the guts to propose to someone with the ring he bought her, he the guts to write another book about how much he loved her. But he didn't. There was no way in hell he ever really loved her. Do you really hurt people that you love? Or is it that hurt that makes your love real, stronger?

Haley sat at home on the couch. She was absently staring at her TV screen. Jamie was playing in his room. Lucas was supposed to call her soon, so boredom was setting in. She wasn't sure what she was going to do, what she was going to say, but she had to tell Luke about her and Nathan. He needed to know. The phone rang and she picked it up quickly.

"_Hello." "Hi Hales!" _Lucas answered._ "Luke! I was expecting your call hours ago." "Haley, it's my honeymoon. If I remember correctly you didn't call me for the first 3 days of yours."_ Haley frowned at the memory. _"Luke, I need to tell you something." _He could hear it in her voice. Something happened. His mind jumped around with concern and the only face he could see was Peyton's. _"Yeah Hales. Anything." _Haley took a breath and put a weak smile on her face. _"Well…" _

Brooke walked into the house to see Peyton sitting in the same spot she left her. A bottle of wine was sitting on the coffee table as well as an empty glass. _"Hey there baby girl. How you doing?" _ Peyton nodded. _"Awful, if you must know. I'm racked with guilt, my head is pounding, and right now I'm deeply saddened that the love of my life married someone else" "And more wine is supposed to help, how?" _Peyton chuckled making Brooke smile. _"It's not." _ Brooke sat beside her on the couch and propped her feet on the coffee table. _"It was a hard day at the salt mines." "Mhmm. What happened, Brooke?" "Just a shop lifter. But it's all good now." _Peyton's eyes were now glued to the ground. Her eyes were sad and tired and honestly Brooke couldn't take it any longer. _"P. Sawyer, you cannot let this get to you. You hear me?" _Brooke cupped Peyton's face so she was looking at her. _"You are strong and beautiful. You know?" _Peyton nodded as tears steamed down her face. _"Peyton, in life things don't always work out. This is not a damn fairytale. But we do try." _Peyton laughed softly, still crying. _ "Sweetie I know you love Luke. He knows it; everyone in this god damn town knows it, including Lindsey. I'm not praying for a break up of a marriage or telling you to do that but I'm telling you that if it's meant to be, which god knows it is, it'll be." _Peyton and Brooke hugged tightly. _"This isn't a fairytale, Peyton." _Brooke whispered into her hair. _"You're not in the mercy of some writer. This is the real world P. Sawyer. You've got to fight back." _

Nathan lay awake in the bed staring at the ceiling. It was late and his recent case of insomnia was bugging the hell out of him. It all trickled down to his wondering mind, really, but that was just as bad. He had a basketball in his hand and tossed it up, and caught it. He continued to do so until he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He looked up and saw Luke's name flash on the screen. He was a little surprised that he called but picked up anyway.

"_Hello." "Hi, Nate." "Big Brother. How's the honeymoon?" Nathan asked "Fine man. Look I talked to Haley today." "Oh well how is she doing?" _ _"Nathan, where are you staying?" "Mouth's." _Nathan said firmly. Lucas knew about everything and he was in a shit load of trouble. _ "Nathan. Why don't you stay at my house? I mean I'm not there and I just think it'd be better that way." _Nathan was shocked he expected Lucas to make a scene, call him an asshole. _"Lucas, you don't have to. I'm okay." _ Lucas paused and Nathan heard him take a deep breath. _"Nathan, please, let me help you." _He didn't want to be charity case for his brother but figured maybe Haley would see he was striving to be better. Maybe she wouldn't file the papers. _"Okay Lucas." _ _"Good. Key's under the mat." _ Lucas said and with that hung up.

**TBC**

**AN: Hey guys. I hope you are feeling the story. Like I said it's different. Some parts of this chapter I really liked. Like that final Peyton/Brooke scene. The chapter header was written way before I wrote that scene and I was going to change it entirely until my brain suddenly came up with the words and I really liked where I went with it. :D Also if you noticed Haley thoughts appeared for the first time, I figured she had to make an entrance sooner or later, as well as Mouth. They are going to be steady characters. Lucas was in this chapter but if you noticed I didn't tell you what he was doing. That was on purpose. (Yes, I'm mean!) I'm not really sure how I feel about the POV. I feel like I write so much better in first but I don't know. Also if there is any problem in the format and it's hard to read, let me know. Please Review. I hope you like. I also just posted the first two chapters but anyway I hope I get a bigger response. I have a lot of this already written so I'm trying to space posting out. Want more than comment! [I'm not doing this for comments but they are soo nice] -Kelsey**


	5. 3: Rain

**Frozen in Ink**

**Chapter 3: Rain**

"_When it rains of this side of town it touches everything…and when it rains will you always find an escape? Just running away from all of the ones who love you."_

–_Paramore (When It Rains)_

**Two Weeks Later**

She was soaking wet, and definitely pissed off about it. Lindsey Strauss Scott had just finished her honeymoon. She spent two weeks pouncing on the beaches, having the sun shine play through her hair, and the temperature extremely warm. Now she sat in Haley James Scott SUV wet as a dog, hair a mess, and just in a bad mood. It had to be an omen that she and Lucas come home when Tree Hill floods over. After the plane had been delayed twice, she finally made it home only discover that Haley wasn't at the airport to pick her and Lucas up. She was late and Luke suggested that they wait outside. Lindsey now knew what a great idea that turned out to be. _"I'm so sorry Lindsey, Luke. I feel really bad." _ Lindsey smiled a fake smile. _"Hales. It's okay. Don't worry about it." _Luke said reaching behind him to take Lindsey hand. _"The rain never killed anyone." _

You know how right before a downpour the color of the sky is that blue with the grey mixed all over? The temperature drops like ten degrees and the air smells better than any perfume, any flower. Peyton Sawyer stood outside, her tongue sticking out of her mouth, her hair curly and frizzy from the humidity in the air. If Brooke saw her like this she laugh at Peyton and tell her to get her crazy ass inside before she caught pneumonia. Peyton couldn't help it, she loved the rain. She used to go outside and dance it in. This was no exception. She had short-shorts on and an undershirt. That was another part of it too, she had to feel the water trickle down her skin. She smiled as she heard the roar of the sky as it opened up, and the rain began to fall down on Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer.

He's cleaning. Yes, Nathan is actually cleaning his brother's house up for him. It's not that he really wants to, but he feels bad. A man should come home to clean house. So he vacuums and can hear the gusting sound of the wind outside and the weather man on the TV talking about how bad this storm might be. Rain doesn't bother him, he likes to nap while it raining. But Haley, she freaks out. She'll go down to the basement and get all the emergency supplies out, light candles, turn on the radio. It's actually funny to him that she's the one picking up Lucas and Lindsey. She's probably having a fucking panic attack behind the wheel. He turns the vacuum off when he hears the front door open. _"Hey there, big brother!" _Nathan says running up to the front door. _"Nate!" _ He says cheerily and they hug. The look on Lindsey's face to him is pretty astounding. She looks shocked and angry to find him in her house. Almost like she didn't know he was going to be there at all. _"Hi. Nathan." _ Haley says as Lucas and Nathan pull apart from their hug. _ "Yeah Hi." _Lindsey seconds. _"Hi, Hales. How's Jamie?" "Good. You should stop by to see him, after the rain of course." _Nathan nods. _"Right. Don't worry Haley. It's only rain." _She smiles softly. _"Again, guys I'm so sorry for being late. But I had to go into the basement before things got too bad." _Nathan laughs under his breath. _"Bye." _She says running out the door and back into her car. The front door shuts and Nathan smiles at an unhappy Lindsey. _"You guys have a good trip?" _He asks as Luke begins to pick up bags from their resting spot in the entryway. _"It was wonderful." _Lindsey answered. Nathan smiled at her and felt the air go icy. _"Yeah Nate, you would really like Hawaii." _Lucas called emerging from his and Lindsey's bedroom. _"Hey, Luke?" _Lindsey asked as he came to a resting place in front of her. _"Yeah, Baby." "I need to talk with you, in private." _Lucas nods his head. _"Okay. Hey Nate we're going back to the room. Holler if you need anything." "I think I'm just going to nap. I did clean your whole damn house after all." _Lucas laughed and followed Lindsey into their bedroom.

Brooke Davis laughed when she arrived home to find Peyton dancing outside in the rain. _"Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer!"_ She yelled as she stepped out of her SUV. _"What the hell do you think your doing?"_ Peyton laughed at loud and looked up to the sky spinning around. _"Dancing. What the hell are you doing?" _Brooke laughed and joined her best friend in the yard. The spun around and held hands and never stopped laughing. Then Peyton began to sing, _"I'm singing in the rain just singing in the rain," _Brooke joined and they both began to laugh harder. _"Just singing in the rain. What a glorious feeling. I'm happy again. I'm singing. Singing in the rain." _

"_What's up, Linds?" _Lindsey starred at Lucas eyes, both that brilliant blue, and hers were so cold. _"Nathan, Luke. He's here." "So?" "You didn't tell me he'd be here Lucas! You didn't ask me, if it was okay if he stayed here!" _ Lindsey said raising her voice a little. _"Him and Haley are going through some things. So I thought it best if he stays here for awhile and gets some help."_ _"What could that problem be?" _She asked annoyed. _"Lindsey, I don't think it any of your business!" _Lindsey looked at Lucas for a second; she was trying to make sure he said what she thought he did. _"I'm your wife Lucas! Remember?" _She said holding up her hand to him. _ "SO HELL YEAH IT'S MY FUCKING BUSISNESS TO KNOW WHAT THE HELL MY BROTHER-IN-LAW HAS GOTTEN HIMSELF INTO!" _ _"DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT!! HE'S MY BROTHER!!" _ Lindsey rolled her eyes. _"I BET YOU'D TELL PEYTON!! I BET SHE WOULDN'T HAVE TO ASK LUKE! I BET HALEY WOULD HAVE TOLD HER!" _Lucas looked at her, _"What the hell does that mean, Lindsey?" "It means that I'm not your FUCKING PRECIOUS PEYTON! I'M NOT HER LUKE!" _ Lucas could believe his ears of course Lindsey wasn't Peyton. _"I married you Lindsey! YOU! I DIDN'T MARRY HER! I MARRIED YOU! BUT YOU JUST KEEP DRAGGING HER IN OUR MARRIAGE! WHY?" "Because Luke, the boy saw a comet and suddenly his life had meaning." _Lindsey began to cry, she felt so stupid, she knew Lucas still loved Peyton, and she married Lucas to hurt her, but really she only hurt herself. _"It's just a story, Lindsey." _ He said touching her shoulder. _"It's an epic love story Luke." _ _"No Linds! It's about a scientist and a comet." _Lindsey shook her head and looked into his eyes one last time. _"No, Lucas. Peyton drives a comet! You waited years for her to come back to you."_ Lucas couldn't believe this, they'd only been married two weeks and this felt like their marriage was coming to a premature close. _"Lindsey I…" _ Lindsey picked up her suitcase from the floor and began to stuff more clothes into it. _"I'm going to go to New York for a few days, clear my head." _Lindsey smiled a sad smile, and kissed the top of Luke's head.

"_Goodbye Luke." _

Peyton and Brooke sat in their living room wrapped in towels. _"Eww. I feel so nauseous." _Peyton said wrapping her arm around her middle. She was lying on the arm of the couch. Brooke was standing in the kitchen next to the oven. _"It's probably from standing outside, you're developing a bug." _Brooke said laughing _"I felt like this for awhile though. Uhh!"_ Peyton said collapsing onto the couch. _"Drama queen!" _ _"Isn't that the kettle calling the pot black?" _ Peyton said giggling. _"Moron! It's the pot calling the kettle black!" _ They both laughed loudly and Brooke walked in setting a cup of coffee in front of her. _"Thank you!" _Brooke sipped her coffee and sat on the arm of the couch. _"I'm so glad God made coffee and rain." _Peyton said taking a sip of her coffee. _"Yeah and I'm so glad to have you P Sawyer." _Brooke said, leaning down to kiss her cheek. _ "Aww!" _Peyton said and the thunder rumbled outside just as loudly as the girls' giggles.

"_P. I want to talk to you about something." _Brooke said walking into Peyton's bedroom. The rain was subsiding and Peyton was lying on her bed reading Rolling Stone. _"What's up?" _Brooke walked over to Peyton's bed and lay down beside her, pulling the covers over both their legs. _"I've been thinking a lot about things, you know the store, my life, and stuff like that." _ Peyton nodded. _"And I think I've figured out what's missing, I think I've always known… and I…" _Brooke trailed off and Peyton held her breath. _"What the hell! Peyton, I want to be a mom." _ Brooke looked up into her best friend's hazel eyes, which today were this deep olive color, and tried to read the expression on her face. _"Is it mine?" _Peyton asked and Brooke began to laugh. _"Peyton, I really want to do this." _The blonde exhaled and smiled, _"Then I support you Brooke. You'll be a great mom." "Thanks!" _ Brooke said with a smile. _"By the way, P, I got you something at the store while I was out." "OOOHH! What did you get me mommy Brooke?" "Well, I was looking at the calendar, and beside the usual stuff, I got you some chocolate chip chocolate ice cream, because I know that during your period, you get kind of moody." "What?" _Peyton asked. _"Yeah, this whole week was blocked out saying Peyton's period." "Shit," _Peyton mumbled under her breath. She was going through the calendar in her mind, and the night with Nathan popped in her mind. _"Peyton are you…" "Brooke, I'm late." _

**TBC**

**A/N: Comments are love, and dr. pepper is my drug. Ha-ha. Craziness huh? I know what your thinking, "Isn't this supposed to be a Lucas/Peyton story?" Yeah, well I have a twisted mind, I know this is short but it'll kind of be continued or at least the rain storm we'll be in the next chapter. It's a filler chapter because honestly I'm kind of in the mood to write in Peyton's point of view. I also know I kind of left all you Nathan/Haley fans hanging out to dry in this chapter but I felt that the Brooke/Peyton final scene was so IMPORTANT! I went a little crazy. :D **

**Please review and thanks to all of you who do! It means the world to me. **

**-Kelsey **


	6. 4:Don't Remind Me, I'd Like to Forget

**Frozen in Ink**

**Chapter 4: Don't Remind Me, I'd Like To Forget-Peyton**

"_I want to be forgotten and I don't want to be reminded. You say _

'_Please don't make this harder' No I won't yet."_

– _The Strokes (What Ever Happened?)"_

It's still raining. I thought for sure it stopped, but now I'm lying down on the cool cement at the river court, and it is hitting me in the face. Right now I don't really care that my hair is a mess, it's spread out around me like a golden halo, curly and unmanageable. I've got bigger things on my mind. What if I'm really pregnant? What if that night with Nathan produced something that I can even imagine? I didn't want this to happen. God, if I wanted kids with anyone it was Luke. But now he's with Lindsey, their probably have their own kids, blonde haired and blued eyed. The thing with life is that you cannot change the past, and there are some many pieces of that past I love. In that past both my mothers' died, I tried to drugs, and even got shot. I don't love these things but I can't take those back, and I don't want to, they brought me to Lucas.

I hate that I had sex with Nate, I love him to death, but not a romantic love, a friend love, and the fact that I would stoop that low after I know about what happened with Carrie and Haley, drives me insane. I choose to do that, when I should have known better. Now I could be bearing the consequences of carrying his child. What am I going to do?

I'm waiting until I run into Luke. I know he and Lindsey came back from their honeymoon and I'm just waiting to awkwardly bump into him, how fun that will be. It's not that I don't still love him, but I have to let go. Especially if it's possible that I could be pregnant. I was so drunk. I really don't know what happened. Nathan isn't just some old flame, he's Lucas's brother, Lucas's best friend husband, my friend's husband. That doesn't make it any better.

I was with someone in L.A. I wanted to tell him that, when he told me how much he loved Lindsey. I was with a movie producer for two and a half years, and yes we were in love. I would have loved to say that. His name was Julian Baker, and he was a great guy, but I was sadly clutching on to Lucas's book. I realized I was still in love with him, and just like Jake, Julian sent me back to Tree Hill.

I thought he'd wait. I didn't think he'd be happy, when I couldn't be. Everything with Julian was a lie, and I thought that's what he had with Lindsey. But he married her, so that can't be it. He was my soul mate, but I guess he doesn't think I'm his.

I look up and I realize that I'm soaking wet, the rain is coming down harder, and the stars are shining. But I don't care. Then there's the sound of a basketball bouncing on the concrete. I look up and it's him.

"_Peyton?" _ I sit up and wave at him. _"Hi, Lucas."_ He runs his hands through his short blonde hair and smiles at me. _"Blondie, what are you doing out here? You're getting all wet." "I could ask you the same thing, Lucas." _ He dribbles the basket ball a little bit, and looks down at the concrete like he searching for the memory of what use to be there. _"Lindsey and I got in a really big fight," _He said throwing the ball towards the basket. He misses. _"She left." _ I wonder if she left forever, or just for work. He's playing with my head. Lucas studies me for a moment. He can read my thoughts, almost. _"I don't know if she's coming back, she wants space." "Oh." _I choke out. _"I know that…" _He starts but I cut him off. _"Listen Lucas, you have been making this really hard for me. Everything. You were gone for two-weeks, that time you spent fucking your wife, I spent crying my eyes out. I can't do this anymore. You married her Lucas. I know you're going to stick by your promise and be with her, okay?" _ Lucas nods his head. _"I still love you." _ I whisper and I get up and walk off of the river court back to my house in the rain. I don't want to ever look back and say, "Remember your soul mate Lucas Scott?" A lot of people say it's better to love than never loved at all. But I say to that, Please don't' remind me, I just want to pretend for a moment that I never loved Lucas Scott, at least right now, while it still stings.

**TBC**

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**A/N: What did you guys think? I really like the song I choose as the header because it fits Peyton really well. It's from the Marie Antoinette Soundtrack so if you've seen the movie, you've probably heard the song. Hope you like the Chapter! :D Someone left me a comment for last chapter telling me the format was looking retarded. Honestly I don't know what happened. Because this is a filler it looks okay but next chapter, I'll try to fix it. :D **

**-Kelsey**


	7. 5: A Part of You

**Frozen in Ink**

**Chapter 5- A Part of You**

"_Something is scratching its way out. Something you want to forget about..._

_A part of you that'll never show, you're the only one that'll ever know."_

_- The Fray (Little House)_

**The Next Day **

The bed is empty, which by now shouldn't bother her so much. But after being married to someone for eight years you get use to it. Haley ran her hand over the empty side of the bed and sighed. She missed him but then again she didn't. What he did killed her inside. He slept with someone else in their bed, in this bed, and that was like a dagger in her heart. Haley got up and looked over at the clock. She'd have to wake up Jamie and get him ready for school. It was hard being a single parent, even if Haley had only been doing it _**"alone"**_ for a few weeks. It was just like before, when Nathan was in his alcoholic phase, she did it alone then too. When Jamie was first born they worked together, but after Nathan's accident he was the never the same. Jamie looked up to Lucas, when Nathan couldn't be there for him. She thought it was getting better, until she found the sin on her bed sheets. Haley pulled her robe on, _"Jamie! Time to get up!"_ She called. Today was a new day, just another day without her husband.

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Peyton sat in the passenger seat of Brooke's SUV twiddling her thumbs. It was a nervous habit of hers, when they were in high school Lucas would always laugh at her before an exam when she'd sit there and chomp on a pen, just another nervous habit. The car was in a pharmacy parking lot on the outskirts of Tree Hill. Brooke was buying Peyton a pregnancy test. The fact was that if she honestly was pregnant she didn't know what she was going to do. Nathan was in love with Haley, even though their marriage was broken up, there was a chance they could reconcile. But if Peyton was having Nathan's baby than that chance diminished. It wasn't that Peyton didn't want to have the baby, if their even was one, because it was a piece of her. The only thing that bothered her was that she couldn't imagine raising a baby with anyone but Luke, which was wrong, considering he was married. Nathan was married too, which made her sleeping with him, also very wrong. She was going to hell. _"Hey. P, anyone up there?" _Brooke said closing the door and settling into the drivers seat. _"Yeah, sorry Brooke." _ Peyton said shaking her head. Brooke handed her a clear plastic bag. _"Ready? Need anything else while we're here?" "I'm good…this is it… uh thanks Brooke." _ Brooke started the car and they drove away.

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Since Lucas had seen Peyton at the river court last night he couldn't stop thinking about what she said. _**"I still love you." **_After everything, all that hurt and pain that he'd caused her, she still loved him. He blew the whistle in his mouth, ending morning practices for the Varsity basketball team. _"Good, run guys. Head to the locker room." _He said clapping his hands. The boys of the team all rushed into the locker room and he stood in the middle of the floor remembering Peyton. Skills walked over to him collecting basketballs and placing them into the cart. _"Hey Luke..." _ Lucas trailed out of his day dreams. _"What's up Skills?" "Nothing Dog, you just seem kind of out in space." _ Lucas shook his head trying to get Peyton out of his mind, he was married to Lindsey now, and he loved Lindsey. _"I'm just thinking about our game on Saturday. I think we can stick it to Madison." "Hell yeah." _Skills said laughing a deep laugh. _"I don't know what were going to do with Fields, Quite honestly." _Lucas added. Then his thoughts went to basketball but even those thoughts weren't Peyton free.

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Lindsey sat in Washington Square Park, it wasn't her favorite haunt in the city or anything but she found it so much more peaceful than Central Park. Most people sat on benches reading books, sipping coffee, and keeping to themselves. Not too many tourists hit this spot to ask for directions or how far they were from Times Square. It was just quiet. Lindsey could no longer sit in her office anymore. It was obvious to most of her co-workers that she and Lucas had gotten into to fight. What kind of crazy woman comes into work two weeks after they get married? There was a lot of memorabilia all over her office walls from Lucas's first book. That was worse than her co-workers noisy questions or her boss's sympathetic stare. In the novel he said he would always be in love with Peyton Sawyer. She knew it was true, she even routed for them, but Lindsey never thought she'd fall in love with Lucas Scott either. She had once read that when people love each other someone always loves more than the other. Lindsey loved Lucas more than he could possible love her, especially since she knew his heart was in some regards still Peyton's. It didn't matter that he'd promised her forever, he promised it to Peyton first. Lindsey brushed her hair out of her eyes and saw a young woman reading Lucas's first book, The Unkindness of Ravens. She saw the girls eyes were welled up with tears and she wondered where she was at in the novel. While editing the book she herself cried a lot, she would never have an epic love story like Lucas and Peyton's, even if she married him. Lindsey got up off the park bench and walked toward the subway, she knew what she had to do. The only thing that paraded her mind was with Luke and Peyton who loved more? Honestly, that was a million dollar question, because to Lucas's wife, it seemed to be about 50/50.

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Brooke knocked on the bathroom door as she rested her head against the door frame. _"P?" _ Peyton sat on the toilet feet crossed with the little plastic wand in between her legs. _"I can't Brooke." _ Peyton yelled as she began to have tears come down her eyes. _"Peyton, you have to." _ Peyton shook her head. _"No, No, No! I can't go. I don't want to know. Brooke I can't pee on this damn stick because then it'll be real." _ _"Let me in, babe." _ Brooke said sweetly. Peyton reached over and unlatched the lock. Brooke walked in and Peyton's eyes were glassy, her hair combed over to the side. Brooke hadn't seen her like this since she'd come back home to Tree Hill. _"P, you have…" "Right now I can't physically go." _Peyton's head was so full she couldn't imagine knowing that something that big was going to happen in her life, something so life changing. _"How about I get you some Sunny D?" _Peyton looked at her. _"Very funny, nice way to lighten the mood." "I do try Peyt." _Peyton took a deep breath and sniffled. _"I can do this." _ Brooke nodded. _"You can do anything." _ Brooke reached out and touched grabbed Peyton's free hand. Peyton let go and finally the urine came out of her body and on to the test. She counted to ten and removed it away from her body and on to the counter, careful not to hit Brooke with it. Peyton continued to relieve her bladder and then sighed. _"Three minutes?" _ Brooke asked Peyton as she buckled her jeans back up. _"Three minutes." _ And then the best friends waited.

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James Lucas Scott was not a stupid kid, in fact, he knew that something fishy was going on in his parents' marriage for a while, even if no one said anything. He didn't understand exactly what was going on, but for a five year old he was pretty aware, he heard their arguments for one, and remembers when Haley caught Nanny Carrie and Nathan taking a nap together. After that night Nanny Carrie didn't come back to watch him anymore and Nathan had to sleep on the couch and burn the sheets on his and Jamie's mother's bed. He didn't want to upset his mother, who now spent her night's crying herself to sleep, by asking where his father was. But Jamie really wanted to play basketball and visit with The Ravens. His mother hadn't said much just that, His daddy had to go away for a little while but that didn't mean that daddy didn't love him any less. Jamie wanted nothing more than to play basketball like his father. But because his mom was so upset he didn't want to ask her if he join the local rec team. One of the big fifth graders asked him to join on the smaller kids teams because he was a Scott after all. So Jamie waited outside of his school, feet swinging back and forth as he sat on the bench waiting for his mama, he was nervous to ask her, but he wasn't afraid to either. That wasn't the Scott way.

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The river court was his favorite place in the whole world. There were so many good memories here, that he couldn't let them go. Lucas bounced the basketball and tried to shoot it in at the three point line. He missed, again. _"Come on, Scott!" _ He whipped his head around to see Haley, she was dressed in a white sweater, dark jeans, and a pair of ballet flats. _"Hi, Hales!" _Haley walked over to him, her hands dug deep into her pockets. _"I thought you were picking up Jamie." "I was," _She answered. _"But Nathan said he wanted to do it." "Oh okay." _Lucas answered and started dribbling the ball in between his legs. _"Talked to Lindsey?" _She asked shrugging her shoulders. _"Talked to Nathan?"_ _"Yes," _Luke stared her down. _"Okay, not really." _ Haley receives the basketball from a bounce pass from Lucas. _"Is she mad about __The Comet__?" _ She asked passing the ball back to him. _"I don't know. I guess, I mean she directly quoted it." "Oh wow." _Haley said, trying to shoot the ball into the hop. _"What Haley?" "Can you blame her Lucas? I've read it. It's another love letter to Peyton." _Lucas shook his head. _"It's a story, Haley." "About Peyton," _She shot back. _"So, Peyton drives a comet?" _ Haley looked at him again, unable to believe he could ignore his heart. _"And the story is about how after the so called comet comes back into your life, you are whole again. You wrote this after Peyton got back to town." "Haley, Peyton is my past. I love Lindsey." _ Haley started to bounce the ball again. _"I do not doubt that, but Lucas listen to me, you still have feelings for Peyton or you wouldn't have hesitated when you were saying your vows to Lindsey." _Lucas couldn't believe that Haley realized that. When he stood up on that podium he thought of Peyton and how much he really missed her._ "I'm your best friend Lucas. I know you better than you think." _She said smiling at him. _"The story is about Peyton." _ He breathed out and shot the ball into the hoop, he made it this time. _ "I already knew that." _Haley said matter of factly. _"But I love Lindsey. I made the right choice. Peyton and me no matter how hard we both tired it wasn't meant to be. She said no, remember?" _Haley linked arms with Lucas. _"I know, Lucas." _She lied and they walked off of the court.

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"Daddy!" Jamie yelled excitedly as he saw his father walk up the sidewalk towards where he was sitting. "Hey Jim-Jam. I missed you." Jamie jumped into his arms. "I missed you too, Daddy." Nathan ran his hands through his son's hair and kissed his scalp. "So, how would you like to come with me to Uncle Luke's? We can play rock band?" Nathan said as the two pulled apart. "Okay. Are we walking or driving?" Jamie asked taking his father's hand. "Walking." Nathan said smiling. The two walked down the street and both father and son were really happy, they missed each other a lot. "Daddy?" "Hmm." "Do you think I'll be a good basketball player?" Nathan smiled. "I know you will be." "A boy at school asked me if I wanted to play rec league. You think Mama will let me do it?" Nathan was unsure. Who knew what Haley would say? "I don't know, son. But how bout this, I'll talk to her about it." Jamie nodded and they reached Lucas's house. "Dad, are you ready to get your butt kicked at guitar?" "No way!" Nathan said laughing and the two boys ran into Luke's house.

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Lindsey stood in the security line at JFK airport. She kept all the paperwork she needed in a manila folder in her purse and kept a strong determined look on her face. She had to go back to Tree Hill. As she entered boarding she thought of her husband, and the kind of man he was. She sighed, grabbed her carry on and boarded a plane to Tree Hill, North Carolina.

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In three minutes you can do a lot of things. You can download a song, type a few words, sign some documents, put peanut butter on your sandwich, or even find out what your future holds for you. Peyton Sawyer was doing just that, finding out what the rest of her life was going to mean for her. It was daunting, those three minutes she spent waiting for a result to the pregnancy test. Especially when your gut is flipping all around, you feel sick to your stomach, and the baby isn't the person's who you love most in the world. Brooke held her hand, as they waited. They just sat on the counter top, didn't speak, just sat and waited. It felt like forever, "Oh my god." Peyton whispered. Then those two little pink lines showed up, it felt a hell of a lot more surreal and terrifying than anything in the world. The test read positive. In three minutes the world can come crashing down

**TBC**

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**A/N: I really hope you liked this chapter. I think this chapter is my longest yet, and was originally planned to be much longer but I spilt it in two. I made a few little references in my writing and I'm just going to go ahead and tell you what they are. When Lindsey is sitting in the park, she's talking about how she read that when people love each other someone always loves more than the other. I got that from a book I've read. It's called Mercy by Jodi Picout. I love her books, and I'm reading that book now and it kind of just popped into my head. Also when Peyton is about to take the pregnancy test, Brooke asks if she wants some Sunny D. That's from Juno. In the beginning she had like 2 gallons so she could pee. I hope you weren't grossed out by that scene but it had to be written. Ha-ha. I still been getting a few more comments about the format and I apologize for that a billion times over. While I was writing this and [the previous chapters] I was using a different view and also I just put the automatic lines in but they didn't show up. Hopefully this looks better and you can keep up. :D About the italics, well previously I had a story up and the quotations weren't showing up for whatever reason, so I just go in the habit of putting it in italics. If that really bothers you then by chapter ten I can stop that, but until then it'll just take too much time. [sorry] For all of you who knew Peyton was going to get pregnant, my bad. I realize I was a little to obvious in previous chapters, but I had to save that result for last. I just had to. All of those places that Lindsey was at are in New York. I've never been but I can attest they are a lot like what I said they were. I hope. Please Review, Make me feel good. :D **

**-Kelsey**


	8. 6: A Promise Made, Isn't a Promise Kept

**Frozen in Ink**

**Chapter 6- A Promise Made, Isn't a Promise Kept**

"_And it rains in bedroom everything is wrong. _

_It rains when you're here and rains when you're gone._

_Cause I was there when you said forever and always." _

_-Taylor Swift (Forever & Always) _

The sun shines through the curtains, it's blinding to wake up to a shinny day when everything is so gray around you. Brooke Davis tucked her dark brown hair back behind her ear and snuggled her head back into the pillow. The swirl of orange and yellow couldn't brighten up her mood, unless well the call came. The very important call that Brooke had been waiting for at least two weeks. It made her nervous and all the drama surrounding Peyton, Nathan and Haley's marriage, and Lucas with Lindsey was driving her crazy. She seemed to be happy to be single and content. Sometimes there was nights when she was lonely but having a family, having a baby, could fix it. She didn't need a man to heal her. She needed an unconditional love, and that like she told Peyton, didn't have to come from a boy. The sound of a loud gag and the toilet flushing filled her ears and she rushed to the bathroom in the hallway finding Peyton bent over the toilet vomiting. _"You okay P. Sawyer?" _Peyton smiled weakly tucking her curly blonde hair behind her ears. _"I think…" _And Peyton began to vomit again. Brooke went over to her side and pulled her hair up and stroked her back. This was going to be a long morning. Hell it was going to be a lot of long mornings

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"Mrs. James-Scott you do realize that once we serve the papers you can't come back from that. You have to be completely sure." The middle age blonde sat in front of Haley in a pants suit and smiled a sympathetic smile. Haley nodded. "Ms. Banks I think I just want to know my options. It's a lot to swallow you know?" Haley had taken off the first two blocks of school this morning to meet with the lawyer and talk about her options. She was setting the motion into place. She was starting the process of dissolving her marriage from the love of her life. "Believe me Haley, do you mind if I call you Haley?" Haley shook her head. "Haley, I've been through this myself and I know how overwhelming it is. Especially if you're not sure. But if you have children, it's going to be even more difficult." Haley sat back into the chair and looked into her lap. She didn't think about how this would affect Jamie. This would destroy him. "My husband and I we have a son, his name is Jamie. He's almost five." The woman handed her a folder full of papers. "Go home, eat some ice cream, and fill this paperwork out. But maybe try talking to Mr. Scott and your son. I understand this is hard. Just come back to me when you're ready. This doesn't have to happen over night." Haley smiled a weak smile and walked out of the office holding the packet of papers close to her chest. If it had to be an ending she didn't want it to be like this.

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When you're young, you want to jump on the life train. You want to go to work, have your own money, your own house, your own life. Most kids in high school feel that way, until reality comes in and you're shoved out into the world. Lucas Scott was the exact same way, ready to get married, have kids, and live a fairytale ending. But after an ending like high school and college graduation there's a new beginning. After a breakup things are at an end but where you go from there is a new start. That lie you grew up with called a happy ending doesn't exist. Life is full of new beginnings. Lucas Scott learned that the hard way. He proposed to Peyton but she said someday and that was an end or was suppose to be for the epic Lucas/Peyton love story. He married Lindsey, a fresh start, a happily ever after or at least in theory. His heart was conflicted. Some things are never really over. He realized that as his wife stood in a few feet from him, crying and cursing about not being able to find a household item. She was home. A start, an ending. "Lindsey?" He called out to her. "WHAT!" She yelled turning around eyes blood shot, tears streaming out. "I'm glad your home." Lindsey laughed bitterly. "Okay Lucas." He was confused, she came home, crying and cursing, and he had no idea what was going on in that head of hers. He couldn't read her, he could see her pain, but he couldn't read it. He didn't know his wife. He didn't know her as well as Peyton. They both knew it. "I have to get to work." He said shuffling his feet. Lucas stepped toward her, he tried to kiss her but she stepped away out of his reach. "Yeah, well I have work to do too." She said bitterly sniffling. Lucas walked out the door leaving the bitter woman behind. Leaving another part of his life story behind him.

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She picked up the phone, fingers shaking, and vomit sitting in throat. Peyton spent most of the morning throwing up, and now her body and mind were totally worn out. She sat crossed legged on the bathroom floor scrolling the numbers in her phonebook until finally finding her OBGYN number. _"Good Afternoon, Doctor Harper's Office. Please hold."_ Peyton let out a gush of air and heard a click. The cheery receptionist had flashed over. After about five minutes, she heard a sound coming from the receiver. _"Doctor Harper's office, Caroline speaking. How may I help you?"_ Peyton wanted to snap at her about leaving someone on the phone for so damn long but instead in a fake cheeriness said_, "I'd like to make an appointment as soon as possible, and it's kind of an emergency."_ _"Okay, your name?"_ Caroline said. _"Peyton Sawyer."_ The blonde said annoyed at how long this phone call was taking. _"And can I ask what this appointment is about?" _Peyton's hormones were getting to her now, she was completely annoyed._ "Well I think I might be pregnant… and I um am going out of town tomorrow for work." _She lied. She hoped this would get her in today. _"Can you hold for a second so I can check the appointment book Ms. Sawyer?" _ _"Sure."_ After a few minutes of what seemed like forever the receptionist came back on the line. _"Okay Ms. Sawyer, It looks like I can squeeze you in for four? Is that okay?" "Perfect. Thanks." _Peyton hung up the phone. She wiped her mouth and felt the nausea build back up in her stomach. _"Great." _She huffed and then leaning back over the toilet she threw up again.

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Haley arrived home that afternoon after school. She placed her bag down on the couch and took her heels off. _"James Lucas Scott!" _ She said calling out to her son. Nathan and Jamie appeared in front of her. Nathan was holding Jamie upside down, ticking his belly and both boys were laughing. _"Oh Hi, Nathan. I didn't know you'd be here I thought Skills was staying with Jamie." "He was but I relieved him. I needed to talk to you about something anyway." _ Nathan placed Jamie on the ground. _"Go on and play in your room Jamie." _Haley said to her son. Jamie shot his father two thumbs up and ran off to his room. _"So, what's up Nathan?" _Haley sat down of the couch propping her feet up and pulling a pillow up to her chest. Nathan sat across from her in the recliner. _"Well Jamie came to me with something and he didn't know how to tell you so…" "Well is everything okay?! Did he do something?" _Haley said freaking out. _"No Hales. Everything's fine. He just wants to join a Rec league basketball team. He wasn't sure how to bring it up because of our issues and my connection to the game so..." _Haley exhaled loudly. _"God Nathan, you scared me. I think that's great. If it's something Jamie wants to do then I totally support him." _ Haley smiled softly. _"Great." _ Nathan grinned. _"Jim-Jam!" _ He yelled. His son came running down the stairs to hear the exciting news which he already heard because he was sitting on the staircase. He was going to get to play basketball and that made all three Scotts very happy.

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Brooke set down her colored pencil, completing the sketch that she had been busily working on. Today things at the Clothes Over Bros store were slow and Brooke had nothing better than to let all of the anxious energy about the adoption agency calling then working on her passion, clothes. Brooke smiled looking at the dress she just designed and the feeling of accomplishment washed over her. Her cell phones begin to ring and "Swim" by Jack's Mannequin came out of the device. "Hello?" Brooke said not recognizing the number. "Hi, is this Brooke Davis?" Brooke adjusted the phone on her ear. "Yep this is she." "Hi, this is Marley Kittson from Better Hands Adoption, Is this a good time?" Brooke smiled, the call had finally come. "This is a perfect time Marley. Thanks for calling." "No problem Brooke, I just got finished looking over your application and I would love to meet with you." Brooke smiled, this day just got fifteen times better. "Well, I'm not the busy now. But really I own my own business so anytime great for you is great for me." The woman on the other side of the phone laughed softly. "Well Ms. Davis, you seem very excited. So much so, that I actually don't mind meeting with you in the next hour. How about you come down to the office then?" "Thanks so much!" Brooke said in a giggly voice and the two hung up. Brooke packed up her sketches and art supplies and closed the store early.

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Peyton sat on the cold hard doctor's office table with the paper gown crunching up over her naked body. She shifted uncomfortably waiting for the doctor to come in. There was a sharp knock and the doctor then came in. Doctor Harper was a man in his mid-forties his hair was beginning to thin but Peyton noticed he was always smiling. If she was a guy and has his job she'd probably smiling too. All he did all day was look at women's vaginas. _"How are we doing today, Peyton?" _He said shutting the door behind him. _"Well, I've been throwing up a lot which is why I came in." _Doctor Harper looked down at the file in his hand. _"Ahh I see, to confirm pregnancy. You took a home pregnancy test correct?" _ The blonde nodded. _"Okay, we can do a blood test or I can do a vaginal exam."_ Peyton pondered which one would be more degrading, the exam, of course. Or she could go through a blood test which would hurt and also take a little longer to get the results. _"If I do the blood test won't you have to do the exam anyway?" _ Her clothes were already off of her and she was stuck between wanting to know and wanting to wait forever to find out. _"Yes, Ms. Sawyer. It'll probably be better to just go ahead and do both anyway." _Peyton shrugged her shoulders. _"Whatever, Doctor Harp." _ Peyton said sticking her arm out and already wincing. _"Alrighty then, I'll send a nurse in."_ And with that the doctor walked out closing the door behind him, leaving Peyton alone.

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He walked into the backdoor, and it was dark. He ran his fingers in his hair and closed the door behind him. _"Lindsey!" _Lucas called out to his wife. Lucas tipped toed into the living room, where he found Lindsey watching the news. _"Hey." _He whispered to her back. She didn't turn around, still looking at the TV she said, _"Hi, Luke." _ He wanted to know what happened in New York, what made her turn from upset to cold. Luke sat down beside her on the old worn couch and saw her scoot away dragging the wool blanket with her. _"Lindsey…" _He said softly. _"Do you get some weird pleasure out of saying my name? Or are you just trying to remember that I'm the one you married not Peyton?" _Lindsey scoffed and kept her blue eyes on the television. _"No, I'm saying your name because I know something is on your mind. Let's talk about it baby." _ Lindsey turned around and looked at him on the verge of tears. She was tired of crying, being in love wasn't supposed to be this hard but letting go was. _"Okay, Lucas. Let me talk." _ She said turning and looking him directly in the eye.

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Nathan opened the door to his brother's house and heard Lindsey crying and Lucas was whispering in an angry tone. Lindsey must have told Lucas that she and Nathan had slept together. Great he was really screwed. So Nathan shut the door quietly and walked toward the river court. When he finally found his way there one of the players from the Ravens was there working on his free throws. _"Hey Q." _Nathan said holding up his hand in greeting. _"If it isn't washed up Nathan Scott." _Quentin Fields said shaking his head. _"Well thanks man." _Nathan said stepping closer now arriving on the blacktop. _"I see you found me and Luke's old high school hang out." _ Quentin shot the ball into the hoop and laughed. _"I see it's pretty empty besides a washed up Scott and the next star in Tree Hill basketball. I hope I don't end up like you." _ Nathan shook his head and they intonated a one on one game. Secretly Nathan hoped the same thing.

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Marley Kittson set the file down and smiled at the young brunette in front of her. _"Brooke, you seem like a very smart and seem like a person who could financially provide for a baby but sometimes Ms. Davis that's not enough for an adoption."_ Brooke frowned and searched the woman who was a few years older eyes. _"I don't understand. What are you saying?" "For women to adopt alone well the chance of actually getting picked up a birth mother is rather thin. Especially since most of these women want their children to have two parents, a mom and a dad." _Brooke nodded understanding_. "And you are rather young. How old are you?"_ _"I'm twenty-two almost twenty-three. What the hell does that have to do with anything?" _Brooke said getting upset. _"To me personally, nothing. But I'm just telling you that I know how badly you want to be a mother. I completely understand. But to get picked right now is very slim. You do have other options you know?" _ Marley said smiling a slight smile. Brooke hopped this woman wouldn't go into fertility procedures and sperm donations. _"I know you said you wanted a baby but maybe you could try fostering a child. I know this girl she's fifteen, names Sam. I think…I really think someone like you could be good for her Brooke." _ Brooke thought for a moment. _"I don't know… I mean…god." _Marley bobbed her red curls. _"I understand, just call me, all right." _The two stood up to shake hands. Brooke turned around to exit the office and turned around. _"I like your top by the way." _Brooke said smiling. _"Oh, thanks. It's actually yours." _ The two giggled and Brooke walked out of the office.

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Peyton removed her legs from the sir-ups and sat back up closing her legs. _"Well Peyton, I'd say your about 4 weeks along. Just keep resting and we can make an appointment for you to come in about twelve weeks. Make sure you're careful, this is the time that most women miscarry, all right Peyton?" _ Peyton nodded her head, her curls bouncing up and down. Doctor Harper laughed whole heartily and smiled. _"Go ahead and dress, I'll see you soon." _ The doctor walked out the door and Peyton walked over to the plastic chair where her purse and other belongings were lying. She pulled the paper slip off of her and put on her polka dot boy legged underwear and then her bra. She slipped her jeans on and buttoned them. She looked down at her stomach before putting her t-shirt on. It was flat. There was no sign that anything was growing inside of her except that gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach. It was just like butterflies and nausea all rolled into one. Peyton shook her head and slipped her t-shirt on and then her ballet flats that Brooke bought her for Christmas last year. She felt tears well up in her eyes and couldn't help but think that she didn't want any of this. For a split second she even thought of aborting the baby growing inside of her. But she quickly felt herself regretting the thought and picked up her purse and walked of the exam room. She walked over to the receptionist table and handed the woman her insurance card. _"How you doing?" _The woman said smiling cheerily. The voice was the same one from the phone call and Peyton looked over to her right breast where her name tag read "Caroline" in gold lettering. _"Um fine…" _Peyton spat out. _"Um I need to make an appointment for twelve weeks." _Caroline nodded and pushed her ash blonde hair behind her ear. _"How 'bout that Monday at One?" _ Peyton took out her check book and wrote out the twenty dollar fee for her co-pay. _"That's fine." _She said stamping the check with the practice name on the for line. The receptionist handed Peyton a card that had her appointment written on it and took Peyton's check from her. _"Have a nice night, Ms. Sawyer." _Caroline said nodding and closed the glass screen in front of her. Peyton walked out of the office and into her car. She turned the keys in the ignition of the Comet and cried.

**TBC**

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**A/N: Surprise, surprise, Nathan slept with Lindsey too! That was actually a little surprise to me too, since I didn't know it happened until after I wrote it. That's always funny when you're writing and something like that happens. Ha-ha. Hope you guys enjoyed that chapter. It was rather long, but personally when I'm a reader [and also a writer] I like longer chapters. If it was in a novel of course it would be short, but this is a story DUH! Boy do I have a surprise for you in the next chapter and an also welcomed ending in the world of Lucas Scott. Oh a damn I just gave you guys spoilers and I promised I wouldn't! Ha-ha. Also I don't know if Sam is going to come in Brooke's world or not. Maybe you guys should decide. I also know that the word ****VAGINA**** bothers some people. Sorry but it's uh kind of something that they examine when you go to an OBGYN. Ha-ha. [I know that was very immature of me, to laugh at the word] Comments please. **

**-Kelsey**


	9. 7: Coming to Terms

**Frozen in Ink**

**Chapter 7- Coming to Terms**

"_I'm coming to terms. I'm starting to learn this ain't all it's cracked up to be. _

_Cause I'm using you. You're using me. It's never as easy as we believed."_

_-Carolina Liar (Coming to Terms) _

His eyes open to the sound of cabinets slamming. Lucas alarmingly hopped out of bed and into the kitchen to find his wife slamming things around and placing them in boxes. _"Lindsey?" _Lucas asks groggily he's still half asleep and not quite sure what's going on. _"Oh, Luke. I'm sorry I woke you. I knew…Damn…" _Lindsey trailed off and stared absently into the kitchen sink. _"What are you doing, Linds?" _Luke asked his wife of a month. Lindsey gazed out the window over the sink taking in the words that were about to graze over her lips. Lindsey turned back to look him directly in the eye and sighed. _"Leaving Luke. I'm leaving you." _

Peyton woke up staring at Brooke. _"Morning baby girl." _Brooke said grinning. Brooke's big brown eyes were looking directly into Peyton's green ones. Today they were purely olive and no matter how much pain was on Peyton's face, her eyes were calming and beautiful. _"Morning B." _ Peyton said sighing. _"You okay?" _Brooke asked concerned. Brooke had every right to be, Peyton came home last night sobbing and hadn't stopped until she'd fallen asleep. Brooke learned very early on into her and Peyton's friendship that she had to help her pick up the pieces, because she knew Peyton would always do the same for her. Peyton closed her eyes to try to keep for crying again. _"I'm going to tell him today." _Peyton exhaled deeply. _"Oh honey! Are you sure you just don't want to wait?" _Brooke asked her. _"I know I should wait till eleven weeks you know. But it's __**our**__ baby. He should know." _Peyton said firmly nodding her head to show her seriousness. _"Then I support you P. Sawyer." _ Brooke said taking her hand. The blonde took it and squeezed it hard. _"You know I love you right?" _Peyton said on the verge of tears. _"I love you too, P. Sawyer. And nothing will ever change that." _Brooke said flashing Peyton a reassuring smile.

"_I'm leaving you." _ Lucas looked up at his wife in disbelief. _"I know what I told you last night, Lucas but really…god really…this is for the best." _ Lindsey went over to the table to find her purse and dug inside searching its contents. _"Here." _She said handing him a manila envelope. Lindsey nodded and he opened it. **DECREE OF ANULLMENT** was scrolled across the top. _"Lindsey..." _Lucas started to say. _"I love you too Luke. I know you love me but you're not in love with me. It's okay. I understand. Just sign the papers. I have a flight back __**home**__ tonight." _To him it was funny that she used the word home to describe New York. But he knew she never thought of Tree Hill as home, she never would. _"What can make you stay? Why can't we work this out like we agreed last night? I forgave you, Linds. You forgave me. Don't leave. __**I am in love with you**__." _Lindsey shook her head and tears begin to well up in your eyes. _"Just sign the papers Luke. Go back to Peyton. Let's both promise to be happy, we both know that I can't make you as happy as Peyton can and you know you can't make me as happy as you should, which is why in a moment of weakness I slept with your brother." _Lucas shook his head, he really wanted to kick Nathan's ass. _"I know __The Comet__ is about Peyton. I knew it when I read it. I also know that you once wrote, __**'I will always be in love with Peyton Sawyer.' **__I'm no idiot Luke, I just took too long to realize that __**it was**__**wrong of me to marry someone when their heart was conflicted**__."_ Lindsey fumbled with her left hand and took off the rings that Lucas had given to her. _"I won't take them." _Lucas said arms folded over his chest. _"Please." _ Lindsey pleaded. It was too early for this, Lucas hadn't even got his morning cups of coffee in. He couldn't take this. _"Please, Luke. This really is for the best. I promise." _ Lindsey said as sobs escaped her throat. Lucas held the palm of his hand out flat and Lindsey graciously placed the engagement ring he'd bought for Peyton years before and the white gold band that had been on her finger for the last month. _"I'm really, sorry Lindsey."_ Luke said beginning to cry himself. Lindsey pulled him in for a hug and began to sob into his shoulder. _"I know Luke. I know."_ She whispered into his ear. _"I'm sorry too."_

Nathan had spent his night crashing on Mouth and Millie's couch for fear that he'd have to deal with a confrontation with Lucas. He really couldn't handle that. Nathan sighed and massaged a sore spot of muscle on his neck from where he slept on it wrong. He then felt his cell phone vibrate in his pocket. **PEYTON SAWYER** flashed across the display screen. He hadn't talked to Peyton since Lucas's wedding and had really been avoiding each other since. Nathan sighed and hesitated answering but then decided to, Sawyer had to be calling for a reason. So, on the third ring, right before it went to voice mail, he sighed and said, _"Hello?" _ Nathan heard Peyton let out a gush of air on the other line. _"Hi, Nate." _She breathed. _"Hi, Peyton." _He said nonchalantly. Peyton sat on the other side of the phone clutching Brooke's hand and biting her lip down hard. This wasn't easy. _"Um, Nathan do you think…well um do you think we could meet somewhere? I uh… I need to talk to you about something..." _Nathan exhaled into the phone. Peyton knew what he was thinking. He thought this was a booty call. _"Yeah, Sawyer. Well what's good for you? I've got to pick Jamie up at 3." _Nathan glanced up at the clock on the wall of the apartment. It was 11 o'clock then. _"It doesn't matter. How 'bout half hour? The river court, maybe?" "Okay. See you then Peyton." _ Nathan said and hung up. Peyton pressed the end button on her cell phone and began to sob, Peyton collapsed into Brooke shoulder. _"Shh." _Brooke said pushing Peyton's hair out of her face, Brooke wiped Peyton's tears away and sighed.

Haley James-Scott soon to be just James sat at her dining room table staring at the blank word document on her laptop's screen. The blinking cursor mocked her as she tried to get the words that she needed to write for a lesson plan and also directions for next week's English project. It wasn't like writing a novel, but it was still very frustrating. Her mind was on other matters, and that had probably affected her job performance about a million percent. Haley picked up her cell phone, and it showed the time of 12 o'clock in the afternoon. She noticed that she hadn't been in contact with any of her friends lately, including Lucas. The time was right after Luke's wedding when the commutation with Peyton and Brooke stopped completely. She had Jamie, which really in life was all she needed. But of course she missed her best friends, Lucas, Peyton, Brooke, hell she'd even settle for Nanny Carrie. Haley laughed, at her own joke and looked up to find the blonde little boy, who was her son. "_Hi, honey."_ Haley cooed. _"Mama, I'm kinda getting hungry. Can we have lunch?" _ Haley remembered that it was past noon, and Jamie always turned into a little monster if he was hungry or sleepy. "_Course we can bud. How would you like it if Mama made us a pizza?" _Jamie smiled a big white smile, his big blue eyes shined. _"For lunch Mama? I thought that the freezer pizza was only for dinner?" _Haley chucked and ruffled Jamie's hair. _"It's Saturday baby boy and I know that sausage is your favorite, we can break the pizza for dinner rule, just this once." _ Jamie's mouth turned into an o, his mom never, ever, liked when rules were broken. Haley brushed her hair out of her eyes, and leaned on the island, pretending to be anxiously waiting for her son's response. _"Okay, Mama." _Jamie said nodding his head, really fast. Haley smiled, and walked over to the oven to pre-heat it. Suddenly she forgot about the work she was suppose to be doing or that she hadn't talked to her friends in about a month.

Lucas watched Lindsey place the last of her boxes in the trunk of her white Ford Taurus. He silently sat on the porch swing, sipping coffee like it was a normal Saturday afternoon, only Lindsey wasn't sitting next to him, reading the leisure section of The New York Times. They talked a little about what would happen from here, would then still be able to work together, or would Lucas have to find a new publisher. Lindsey told him she believed in his work, and hoped they could keep a professional relationship. That was Lindsey. She was always going to be good and kind to him, especially if it involved his writing. Lucas really thought that Lindsey had fallen in love with the words, the blonde had crafted, not exactly him, he was flawed, he couldn't give Lindsey what she needed, what she deserved, a happy life. _"I better be going," _She sighed walking up to where he sat. _"My flight leaves in about four hours and there's a few things, I've got to do." _ Lucas nodded and looked her into her crystal blue eyes, he cared about her but yet when he looked there, his soul didn't catch on fire, his heart didn't flop, his thoughts didn't race, his skin didn't tingle. She was right, they weren't right for each other. Lucas admitted to himself for the first time since Peyton had gotten back to town. Lindsey and Lucas weren't true love. They both had to face that fact and now was the time to do so. _"I just wanted to say…" _Lucas began but the words wouldn't come out._ "Lucas, everyone messes up, and I want you to know that it's all okay." _Lucas looked up and her and back down to his feet. _"Be happy, Linds. I want that for you." _Lindsey smiled and kissed Lucas's cheek. _"I want the same for you, Luke. So please do me a favor. __**Go back to her**__." _And with that Lindsey Strauss Scott turned on her heels and walked out of Lucas Scott's life.

She didn't care what she looked like when she met him. Peyton told Brooke that right now she could care less about the clothing on her body or the way her hair fell in her face. She was sitting inside of her car, waiting for Nathan to walk up to the _court_. Her head was racing, she looked a mess, and quite frankly she was really pissed off. This asshole got her pregnant, sure they both had some responsibility there, but she already knew Nathan well enough to know that he wasn't going to take this well. Brooke, being the great best friend that she is offered to come with Peyton for moral support, but Peyton told her this was something she had to do on her own. The tall dark haired high-school boyfriend of hers walked onto the basketball court with jeans and a ravens t-shirt rubbing his arms together as if he caught a chill. Peyton opened the door and as she got out she made sure she slammed it to get his attention. Nathan Scott turned around at the sound of a slammed door and saw Peyton. He didn't know what to think, he was really starting to second guess whether or not this was a booty call. _"Hey." _He said waving at her. Peyton didn't smile, she just kept a blank look on her face. _"So, what's up?" _Nathan asked as she reached him. What was up? Well um a lot actually. _"A few things, Nate." _She said shifting her feet. _"Um. Okay?" "Do you remember the night after Lucas's wedding? We had sex." _Peyton bluntly said. _"Yeah, it's a little fuzzy but I remember." _Nathan said nodding. _"Did you use protection?" _She asked him. She already knew his answer, of course not, that's why she was here in the first place. _"If your thinking because of my issue you got AIDS or something let me just tell you that I'm clean and…" "I'm pregnant Nathan." _She said interrupting his thought. _"Oh." _ Nathan said. _"Is it Lucas's?" _He asked running his hands through his dark hair. Peyton slapped him in the chest. _"No dumb ass! It's yours! YOU GOT ME PREGNANT!" _She yelled. _"Stop lying." _He said shaking his head. _"I'm not. If you want I can take you back to the house and show you three home pregnancy tests, they're all positive. Or I can pull out my blood work that I got done yesterday, where it clearly says I'm pregnant, and I'm about four weeks along. Do the math!" _ _"Shit!" _he yelled. _"Yeah asshole, shit is right." _

Lucas retreats inside of his house after Lindsey drove off. He walked in to find the place empty and cold, Lindsey in a strange way had someone how brought a light to this place, he noticed now he was alone, he was going to be alone for awhile. Peyton wouldn't come back to him, in fact every woman he had ever been with he'd ruined it with them. He was truly alone in his childhood home. He sighed and walked back into the bedroom with his cup of coffee in his hand and sat down on in the office swivel chair. He opened up his laptop to find that an envelope had been placed down on the keys. **LUCAS, **was scrolled across the top in a neat girly print, it was Lindsey's handwriting. Curious, Lucas broke the seal of the envelope and unfolded the piece of paper out of the envelope.

It was a letter.

_**Dear Lucas, **_

_**I know that if you're reading this right now, I've left you, either that or we are happily married and you for whatever reason were going through my personal items. But married people aren't really supposed to private things, are they? I'd say that most likely we've called it quits, and if you're wondering when I wrote this, well it was the first night of our honeymoon. We had just had the most amazing sex and you fell asleep. There you sit, peaceful, and then you mumble her name under your breath. The first night of our honeymoon, you dreamed of Peyton. If only it would have rained on our wedding day, then maybe we would have had this major epiphany and realized that we're not supposed to be together. You are a great man, Lucas Scott, destined for greatness. Your writing Lucas is spectacular and if your muse is Peyton, than make that happen Lucas. You were so good to me please don't blame yourself for the dissolving of our marriage. I made mistakes too. I am also partly at fault here, if anyone knows how much you love Peyton beside you and her, its me. I've read the raw words, the way your head told you to write them. I know how you feel about Peyton Sawyer. I wanted what you had. I guess everyone does. When I found out you and the Peyton from the book didn't work things out, I felt so bad for you. I could only imagine how bad your heart ached. I jumped on the chance to be with someone like you, you have such a big heart and you were ready to jump and I was ready to fall in love with you. But now we know that it's not right, I even knew it then. When your hearts conflicted, you don't marry someone else, Luke. So save another girl some heart ache and go be with her. I really like her, no matter how much we fought over you like little girls. [not that you need my approval or anything ]Since my father died, I haven't really made the best choices, except deciding to edit your book, and meeting you. Have a**_ _**good life Luke. Be happy, I want that. I hope we can still work together, and I just wanted you to know that I'll always care about you, figure out where you heart stands, Lucas. Contact me when the next novel is written. Also when the papers are done being filed, I'll file name changing documents. I'm not a Scott. I know that the next time I see you, we will be truly and utterly happy. **_

_**Always,**_

_**Lindsey Strauss **_

Lucas blue eyes scanned over the letter one more time. She was right about everything, she was just another Brooke. Someone he really cared for but could never be Peyton. He hoped that one day, they could be friends. Lucas looked down at his left hand and slipped the silver band off his finger and placed it on his desk. He dug in his pocket and pulled out his cell phone. __He dialed a number he hadn't dialed in over a mouth and sighed as the phone began to ring.

Nathan turned away from Peyton and started to walk away. _"Don't walk away from me!" _She yelled at him. _"This is so freaking unbelievable, Peyton! You cannot be pregnant with my baby! This is insane." _He turned around to look at her, his eyes were icy. In that moment he reminded her so much of Dan. _"I am Nathan. What am I suppose to do? What are we suppose to do?" _Peyton asked hugging her middle. _"You can get rid of it. Neither of us wants this baby." _Peyton felt tears come to her eyes. He was asking her to get rid of something she already knew depended on her. She had never felt that before. _"How could you ask me to that, Nathan? What have you turned into?" _ Peyton asked tears cascading out of her olive eyes. Nathan shook his head and looked at Peyton disgusted, like she was the one with the sex addiction, like she had something to really be ashamed of. _"I have to get my son, Peyton." _Nathan said turning away from Peyton and he walked away. Peyton collapsed on to the court in a fit of tears and felt headlights surge over her skin.

"_Hello?"_ _"Hey is this an okay time to talk?" _ Haley shifted the phone on her ear and smiled, it was nice to hear the voice on the other line. _"It's a great time, what's up?" "Lindsey left me." _ Lucas said breathing it out. _"Oh my god! Luke! Are you okay?" _ Haley asked, shooing her son out of the kitchen. _"I don't know Haley. I mean god…" _Lucas was interrupted by the sound of a door being opened on the other side of the line. _"Hey, Lucas. Nathan's here to pick up Jamie. Hold on for a second, please. I'm sorry." _Haley said and placed the phone on her corner table. _"Jamie! Your daddy's here! C'mon!"_ _"Yeah, Jim-Jam you don't wanna be late." _When Lucas heard Nathan's voice on the other line he just wanted to punch him, right then and there. Lucas heard a few word the two exchanged and Haley saying good bye to her son. The door was shut, and Haley's voice echoed back onto the phone. _"I'm really sorry about that Luke. He couldn't have come at a worse time." "Its okay, Hales. Not your fault." _ He heard Haley sign. _"How bout you come over? I could really use the company, plus I miss you." "I miss you too!" _Lucas said, hearing the urging in his best friend's voice. He realized that he really hadn't been there for her and she really needed him. _"Ten minutes?" _She asks. _"Perfect." _He says smiling and that's been his first real smile since Peyton told him she still loved him.

Peyton looked up to see the car parking in the parking lot and saw a car with the bright headlights in the middle of the day, was parking. Peyton dried her eyes and stood up rubbing her hands on the pant of her jeans. She turned around to see Lindsey coming toward her; she really didn't know what to do. This had to be one of the worst days in Peyton's life. When Lindsey finally stood three feet in front of her, Peyton had no idea what to do, if she should move, if she should go, if she should say anything. _"Peyton,"_ Lindsey whispered as if she'd just heard a dirty little secret about her. Peyton nodded. _"I've been driving all around town looking for you for the past, few hours." "And clearing my head,"_ Peyton looked at her dumbfounded, why was Lucas's wife standing out here, why was she looking for her? _"I…I um going back to New York today." _Lindsey studded. Peyton rolled her eyes and wrapped her arms around herself protectively. _"I'm not going to sleep with Lucas while you're gone. Have a nice trip, Lindsey." _Peyton breathed out slightly annoyed. Peyton turned around to leave. _"I left Lucas this morning, Peyton. Our marriage is going to be annulled." _Peyton turned back around her eyes were wide with shook. _"You can't do that?!" _Peyton said practically yelling at Lindsey. _"He loves you." _ Lindsey shook her head. _"No he loves you."_ Lindsey walked back toward her car and looked back to see the shocked blonde. _"Make sure you tell him that you love him back. He needs you. Bye Peyton." _ Lindsey waved and got into her car and drove away. Peyton's jaw dropped and she stood on the river court with her mouth hanging open for a good twenty minutes.

Brooke looked over to Peyton who sat beside her on the couch. _"You and Lucas have horrible timing." _Peyton nodded absently. She had just finished telling her the story about her day at the river court. _"Yeah. I'm going to go upstairs, okay?" _Brooke nodded. _"Call if you need anything." _Brooke called out as Peyton climbed the staircase. Peyton reached her bedroom and plopped onto her bed and hugged her tummy. Peyton sat up and propped a magazine on her knees. She reached into her nightstand drawer and pulled out a pen and some lined paper. She sighed and began to write. If Lucas could write a novel, then she could write a letter. Thirty minutes later Peyton set her pen down and her olive green eyes grazed over the words she'd written. She sighed and pulled out her cell phone scrolling through the contacts. She found the number she was looking for and pressed the send button. She hadn't called this number in so long. She honestly wondered why it was still in her phone. This was the person that saved her when she was plunged into such a deep depression she couldn't see her way out of the dark. This person loved her with life itself and she loved him right back. This was the man whose kiss was so different, that the first time it happened her head almost fell off of her body. _"Hello?" _He was asleep and she wanted to laugh at how cute he sounded when he was awakened. _"Hey." _She breathed. _"Peyton?" _he asked surprised that she called. _"Yeah, you were asleep, I'm sorry."_ She heard him sit up and settle under the covers of his bed. _"It's okay. Is everything okay?" _Peyton heard concern rise in his voice. _"No Julian, it's not." _

**TBC**

**A/N: How many of you thought that Peyton was calling Lucas? Tricked you! Didn't have much of Brooke in this chapter. That wasn't done on purpose but this chapter was mostly about Lucas/Lindsey's break up and Peyton telling Nathan about the baby. ** **This is my longest chapter ever! I really hope you guys, dig longer chapters, because I do. I'm sure a lot of you were wondering what was going on in Haley's head and I released I'd been neglecting her, and I felt so bad! So ta-dah! Haley's thoughts! Didn't get too many reviews last chapter, after this updates may not be as frequent. Write now I'm writing chapter 10 and I've caught a little bit of a block. [Hopefully I'll come out of it soon] Thanks Guys! Comments are always nice. [BTW: This is my favorite chapter that I've written so far] -Kelsey**


	10. 8: All Fall Down

**Frozen in Ink**

**Chapter 8- Fall Down**

"_If ever your world starts crashing down. Whenever your world starts crashing down._

_Whenever your world starts crashing down. That's where you'll find me."_

_-One Republic [All Fall Down]_

Jamie turned to his father and began to laugh. _"What's so funny Jim-Jam?" _Nathan said ruffling his son's blonde hair. _"I don't know. I'm just happy." _ Jamie was giddy over finally being able to join the basketball league, just like his dad had done at his age. _"I can tell champ." _Nathan said smiling. He was totally focused on his son in this moment. Haley, Nanny Carrie, Lindsey, Peyton, weren't even on his mind. Jamie and basketball were it. They moved up in line and reached the sign up table. Nathan picked up a clip board and looked over the papers. _"Well I'll be damned, it's Nathan Scott." _Nathan looked up to find Quinton Fields sitting at the sign up table._ "What are you doing here, Fields?" _ Quinton looked over to see Jamie hiding behind Nathan's legs. _"I had to do community service. Ms. James-Scott told me it could help me look even better to scouts. This your son?" _ Nathan nodded. _"James Lucas Scott! Well I've heard a lot about you. You're gonna be a big basketball star?" _Jamie jumped out and grinned. _"Just like my daddy." _Jamie said proudly. _"I bet you could be even better." _Quinton whispered loudly. Jamie grinned. _"All right Jim-Jam, say bye to Q. We have to turn this paperwork in now to get you signed up." _Nathan said directing his son to the next table. _"Bye Q." _ _"Bye Jamie. Bye Scott." _ Nathan smiled a fake grin at the teenager and walked over to the next table. Quinton just laughed.

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Haley rested her head on Lucas's shoulder and sighed. _"We're going to be okay, right Luke?" _Lucas looked down at Haley and said, _"I hope so." _ Lucas dug his spoon into the carton of Ice Cream and handed it to Haley. Haley spooned a big amount of her mouth and began to choke. _"Brain freeze!" _She yelled jumping up and waving her hand in front of her mouth. Lucas laughed as Haley finally managed to swallow the ice cream. _"Oh my god never put that much ice cream on a spoon and try to swallow it. Promise!" _ She said giggling. _"Promise. Scouts honor." _Lucas said placing his hand over his heart. _"You were never a boy scout, Luke." _Lucas laughed. _"Nope, never was. So how the class going?" _Haley shook her head settling back on the couch. _"Not good. I've just been so distracted. How's the writing?"_ She asked. _"Same." _ Haley smiled. She missed hanging out with Lucas and Lucas missed hanging out with Haley. _"I feel a lot better, thanks Lucas…you know for coming over." _ Lucas nodded a firm nod and smiled at his best friend. _"I don't exactly know how you're suppose to feel after your wife of a month leaves you but I feel better then I did than sitting in that house." _ Haley smiled. _"I'm glad, you know you can stay here if you want." "Thanks Haley, but it'll be okay. Thanks for being there for me today." "I'm always here, Lucas." "And I'll do the same thing in return." _ Lucas said meeting his best friend's eyes. Haley rested her head back onto Lucas's shoulder and turned the TV on. They laughed at an old movie they watched as kids and just began to heal the ache in the hearts with each other.

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Peyton leaned back against her headboard and sighed. _"No, Julian it's not." _ _"Peyton, what's going on?" _Julian asked. _"Wait why are you asleep. Did I forget how to calculate time zones?" _ Julian chuckled. _"I'm in London doing some research for a new film. Its okay, I can talk. Please just tell me what's going on." _Peyton began to feel tears building in her eyes. _"I shouldn't be calling. We're broken up. You can't save me, Jue." "Can I try?" _He said trying to break down the walls she was building. _"I'm pregnant." _ She began to sob and she heard Julian try to calm her. _"Oh wow, Peyton…" "It's a baby from a one-night stand. I'm such a whore!" _ Julian sighed. _"You're not a whore Peyton! I promise." "It's Nathan's baby. He's married Jue." _Julian stayed silently and began to remember the characters of Unkindness. Nathan was Lucas's half brother he was also married to Haley, Lucas's best friend. _"Tell me what happened, Peyton." "He…He…"_ She said in-between sobs. _"Right now he has a lot of issues. Haley asked for a divorce. Lucas married someone else, and I was so drunk!" _ Peyton cried, this time she couldn't control the tears. _"Did you just say Lucas got married?" _ Julian asked. He read the book. He knew that he and Peyton broke up because she was still madly in love with Lucas. _"Yeah, his book editor. But today I found out she left him! Can you believe this! I'm such a whore." _Peyton said crying her words sputtering out quickly. _"Peyton, you're not a whore. It's all going to be okay. You know what I'm coming out there." "What?" _ Peyton cried out. _"I'm going to save you, this time. Lucas can't so I'm stepping up." _He said firmly. _"Jue," _She warned. _"I want to Peyton. I'll be out in a few weeks. Let me wrap up this stuff with a few directors and historians and I'll be there for you Peyton. I'm going to be there." _ Peyton began to cry. This man whose heart she'd turned to shreds wanted to help her. _"Thank-you Julian,"_ _"Anytime Peyton. I'm always going to be there." _She smiled with tears in his eyes and they both hung up Peyton felt like maybe things just might turn around and she closed her eyes and rested her hands on her abdomen.

**TBC**

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**A/N: This turned out just to be a filler chapter because I wasn't satisfied with the way chapter 7 finished.[I really liked the chapter itself but it felt a little incomplete] I also forgot to write the sign up scene between Nathan and Jamie and I knew that many people weren't going to like how incomplete I made that, so it's fixed. YAY! There's a time jump- next chapter. Not going to go into it too much, y'all will just have to wait and see. Interesting dynamic between Peyton/Julian huh? I think they just make good friends, like Nathan and Peyton [on the show] but I'll see if I want to go into their romantic relationship or not. Sorry it's taken a while to update, I've been busy and super sick. Still trying to write chapter 10. I love comments guys -Kelsey**


	11. 9:I Read Your Letter

**Frozen in Ink**

**Chapter 9- I Read Your Letter **

"_I read your letter, the one you left when you broke into my house._

_I'm retracing every step you made. And you said you meant it._

_And there's a piece of me in every single second of every single day._

_But if it's true then tell me how it got this way?"_

_-Jack's Mannequin [The Mixed Tape]_

**Two Months Later**

Peyton was more upset at herself than anything. She rested her hands on the steering wheel and parked across the street from Lucas's house. She knew he was out of town traveling with The Raven's and figured this was the best time to do this. She wouldn't have to see him, she wouldn't have to explain why she'd been avoiding him for the past two months. She'd just waltz in his house and do what she'd come here to do. Peyton walked across the street and crept into his lawn. She kept turning around to make sure that no one could see what she was doing. She reached the front door, it was locked, and that really didn't surprise her. Peyton walked to the back side of the house where the door to Lucas's room was. Peyton slowly turned the knob and it didn't open. She was now frustrated, aggravated, and nauseous. She ran her hand through her hair and she realized that she had a few bobby pins in her hair. Smiling, she took one out and stuck the pin into the lock of the door. She remembered how to pick a lock from her days of high school. She smiled as she jimmied the lock free and twisted the door knob open. She walked into the doorway and frowned at the condition of Luke's room. It was a mess and he wasn't a messy person. She found clothes piled on the floor and pictures of her scattered all over the carpet. She wanted to cry, and she wasn't sure if was the hormones or she actually felt bad for Lucas. Peyton walked over to his desk and dug into her purse. She pulled out an envelope with his name on the front and frowned. She was really going to do this, she was really going to kick him out of her life. Peyton wiped her eyes and placed the letter she'd written on top of his desk, where he'd see it. She reached over his computer and got a post-it note and pen out of the cup on his desk. _Clean this place up! _She wrote. She tore the note off of the deck and stuck it on the back of the letter. She felt more tears come to her eyes and began to walk out of the room. She stood in the doorway and looked around the bedroom, memories of high school flooded her mind. Peyton closed the door behind her, and walked to her car.

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Lucas sat on the bus back to Tree Hill. The team had lost and he was pissed at himself more than the team. He hadn't been a very good coach to them lately and Nathan didn't even have the balls to come support them anymore. He just sat on his fat ass all day at Mouth's apartment, probably looking at porn. Lucas shook his head disgusted and thought about how much his brother needed help. He looked out the window it was dark and the landscape just rolled by. Lucas pressed his head against the cool glass and clasped his blue eyes shut. He listened to the sound of his ipod playing Peyton's play list and felt himself drift off to sleep.

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"_Hey, where did you run off to?" _ Brooke asked peering over the couch as Peyton closed the door to their house behind her. _"Went for a drive, I figured I'd pass time until Julian got here." _ Peyton said coming to sit next to Brooke._ "I can't even fathom the fact that there's going to be a boy here, P. especially one of your exs." _ Peyton propped her feet up on the coffee table and rolled her eyes. _"You just want to know if he's cute." _Peyton taunted her. _"Did I say that?" _ Brooke asked. Peyton gave her a look. _"Okay! So is he?" _ Brooke said excited. _"You'll have to wait and see."_ Brooke laughed. _"So, the guest bedroom's all set up. You have an appointment tomorrow, right?" _Peyton nodded. _"Yep, tomorrow at one." _ Brooke sighed. _"So, I'm guessing your going with Julian." _ Peyton giggled. _"God No! You think you could go with me. It's silly but I was wondering since Nathan wants to be out of the picture you could be my partner in this." _ Brooke took Peyton's hand. "_I'd love to P. Sawyer." _Peyton smiled. _"Thanks B. Davis." _ Brooke nodded. _"So, have you talked to the people at the agency?" _Peyton asked. _"I decided to foster Sam. I think it's a good thing, to help her you know?" "I think it's the best thing in the world, really Brooke. You can really help her. You're going to be a good mom." _Brooke smiled. _"Right back at you P. Sawyer. In fact we're both going to be really great moms. I know it." _Peyton smiled and snuggled into Brooke's shoulder. _"I hope I can be a good mom Brooke. The past two months I've just been thinking about this baby. It wasn't planned, it won't have a father. I'm going to be a single mom, this whole situation reminds me of Karen only I don't have a Keith." _ Peyton felt tears come to her eyes. _"I miss him. I miss him a lot. This wasn't supposed to be like this. This is supposed to be me and Luke's baby. We're suppose to be happy and married and in love. I'm alone. I have to do this by myself." _Peyton sobbed into Brooke's shoulder. Brooke ran her fingers through Peyton's curly blonde hair. _"I know baby, but you have me. You're not alone in this. I've got you."_

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Lucas awoke with a start as the bus slammed on the breaks. They were a few minutes out of Charleston and Lucas was highly annoyed. The team had been gone for the whole weekend and he hadn't slept a wink. In fact, for the last two months he had suffered extreme insomnia. It was now about 5 o'clock PM on a Sunday. He knew if they didn't get back soon, all the boys mothers would be on his ass about not getting the player back on time. It wasn't his fault that they got asked to play an out of district game in Virginia nor was his fault that the bus had broken down earlier that day. Nothing was in Lucas's control and the fact that nothing was going right, really pissed him off. He didn't hang out with anyone anymore. Most of the time it was just him and Haley. He hadn't heard from Brooke or Peyton in forever and apparently Haley hadn't either. Lindsey called once and that was when she arrived in New York, just to let him know she was okay. Lucas rubbed his temples and sighed. He couldn't help shake the gnawing feeling in his gut that back home in Tree Hill something was going on he just couldn't put his finger on it.

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After the crying session with Brooke, Peyton had left for the airport to pick up Julian. Brooke and Peyton had talked about Julian coming to stay a few weeks ago. Peyton told Brooke that Julian was an ex-boyfriend of hers. He was a movie producer and they met back in LA. They were in love or whatever but he wasn't Lucas. So, the two broke up but remained friends for a year or so and then lost touch. Now, he was coming to help her with the baby situation, he was ready to stand next to Peyton and support her. Julian's job required him to be in London longer than he excepted so it took him two months to get the clearance to come and stay with Peyton in Tree Hill. Brooke didn't trust this guy but just because she didn't trust Julian didn't mean she wasn't intrigued by him. The name actually sounded quite familiar to her. _"Julian Baker." _She whispered letting it roll off of her tongue. Brooke shook her head and pulled out her cell phone, to call Marley from the adoption agency.

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Lucas pulled his car in the driveway at about seven. He was pissed off and had been a lot. Since Lindsey left, he really had to come to terms with his life, who he was as a person, and who he loved. He loved Peyton. But he knew she'd been avoiding him and he could understand it. He had hurt her. Lucas walked to the back off the house and pulled his house key out of his pocket. As he stood at the door he noticed the lock had been picked. Lucas grunted in frustration and kicked the door open. The house was exactly how he left it, a mess. Lucas combed the house for anything out of place and about twenty minutes later found that everything was just as he left it. Lucas collapsed into his desk chair and noticed that there was a letter sitting on his desk. This wasn't Lindsey's letter that was put away. As soon as he realized whose handwriting was on the envelope and had printed his name on the front, he felt his heart clench. Peyton had written him a letter. He tore the envelope quickly, like a child tearing wrapping paper on Christmas and unfolded the lined paper. Peyton's words were scrolled across it.

_**Luke, **_

_**I talked to Lindsey. Well actually she found me today and told me what happened. I'm sorry, I know you loved her. This is harder than I thought. You can write a whole novel, 500 freaking pages, and I can barely get out what I need to. A lot of things have happened since you married her, Luke. A lot of things that as of right now I can take back and I can't change. It doesn't mean I don't love you any less. God, I love you. I love you, a lot. More than I could write, more than I could even say. But do me a favor Lucas. Don't pick up your life and come back to me. It's too late. If you only knew. You were semi-right Lucas, it's not three years ago and even if I have a hard time accepting it, I'm letting you go. I hope you understand. Don't be a spinster or anything but I hope maybe one day in the future you can love me. Today is just not the day, Lucas. But soon you're going to hate me, I predict it. Can you do me a favor, please? If you really love me do one little thing for me. Give me space, time, distance. I'm doing this for you really. I know you don't understand but trust me. If you stay away now, it'll be better later on. I love you Lucas. I know this is short but it's taken me like a half hour in between crying to do this. We really are true love always. I'll love you till the day I die. I know that. I know you are it for me Lucas. Just wait. I need time to heal from the damage. I need to breathe. Don't forget me, still love me. I'm not going to forget what we share. I know it, I feel it. You're apart of me, you're apart of my life, you're apart of who I'm going to be. I wish it didn't have to be this way. **_

_**Love,**_

_**Peyton**_

Lucas sighed as he finished the letter. She loved him but she wanted him out of her life. Lucas was massively confused but he knew Peyton still loved him. And that fact was all he really needed.

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Peyton waited at the security gate for Julian's plane to arrive. She tapped her finger up against the small bump on her stomach. She was now at that point in her pregnancy where she was staring to show. Brooke always teased her when she was trying to get ready in the morning and button her jeans and cover the small bump on her lower stomach. She didn't feel like it had to be a big secret that only she, Brooke, Julian, and Nathan knew, but yet she couldn't bear the thought of Lucas or Haley finding out about this baby. It killed her. How could she tell Haley that she was carrying her husband's baby? How could she tell that to Luke? The whole situation made her look dirty and sleazy. She didn't mean for it to happen, this baby being conceived didn't make her a bad person. But she loved it, she knew that the 'little worm' as Brooke liked to call it, was really something special. She wouldn't and couldn't take that back. Peyton looked up from her thoughts and saw Julian walking toward her, his hair had grown out, he was in need of a haircut, his face had gotten all scruffy, and his hazel eyes looked extremely tired. _"Jue." _She grinned. Julian stepped in and hugged her tightly. They pulled apart and he smiled at her. _"Hey, Peyton. God you look great." _Peyton laughed at him. _"Thanks for being nice to the hormonal, fat, pregnant lady." _Julian adjusted his laptop bag's shoulder strap and the two began to walk toward baggage claim. _"Really, I think pregnant works for you,"_ He said laughing. They both reached the carousel of bags and Julian studied them closely to find his own. _"London looks like it killed you." _ Julian chuckled and reached out toward two tan pieces of luggage. _"Yep, I've been working hard, I feel bad though. I should have been here to hold you hair or something while you were vomiting."_ Peyton laughed deeply_. "I don't think you want to see that. Brooke was here and if you want I'm sure a little vomiting can be arranged. Right 'little worm'?"_ Peyton said placing her hands on her stomach. The two set off for the parking lot and Julian rolled his luggage along. _"Poor baby, please don't tell me you're going to call her 'little worm' her whole life?"_ _ "No, I plan on naming my baby. What gives you the idea that I'm having a girl?" _ The two made their way toward the door and Julian held it open for her. _"I can't imagine you with anything else."_ He said firm in his word. _"Well they can find out tomorrow, which is pretty exciting. So I guess we shall see." _ Julian nodded and Peyton guided him towards her car. _"I can't believe you still have the Comet!" _ Peyton laughed at him. _ "I can't believe you'd think I could ever get rid of it. It's my baby." _Julian laughed at her comment as she unlocked the doors. They both got in, him on the passenger side and her on the drivers. Lucas was the only one she ever let drive her car besides herself. Julian knew to never ask. Peyton backed out of the parking lot and headed toward the home she and Brooke shared. Julian talked about L.A she talked about Red Bedroom Records, and Mia who was out on tour. It was in that moment that Peyton put the top down and exposed her and Julian to the cold November air. She did it a lot when she was driving alone, just to clear her head. Julian looked at her dumbfounded. _"Peyton, its fucking cold! What the hell are you doing?" _He held his arms up against his chest and shivered. _"Driving, crazy! What are you doing?"_ She said grinning.

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Haley sat at the dinner table and picked at her plate of spaghetti. She looked up at Jamie and smiled. He had tomato sauce all over his face and was twirling his noodles on his fork. _"Is it good, Jamie?" _She asked him chuckling. Jamie nodded his mouth full of noodles. Haley then heard a knock on the door and got up from the table. _"Don't get up James Lucas Scott, let mommy answer the door. I'll be right back." _She said walking toward the door. She opened it to find Lucas, eyes blood shot, and a tear soaked letter in his hand. He looked a wreck. _"Peyton, Peyton…" _he studded. Haley looked at him eyes wide. _"Peyton she still…Peyton still loves me, Hales."_ He said and he walked right into her house raving like a mad man.

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Brooke heard the tone of Marley Kittson's telephone. She sighed and hung up the phone. Apparently no one was in the office, but then again it was Sunday. Brooke leaned into the back off the couch. She heard Peyton laughing and keys being stuck into the door. She turned around and smiled as Peyton and Julian walked through the door.

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"_Luke are you okay?" _She asked as he stepped into her living room, shivering. He wasn't wearing a coat and it had to have been 45 degrees outside. _"She broke into my house, while I was gone, Haley. She wrote me a letter two months ago. After Lindsey left. She told me she loves me." _ Haley guided her best friend toward the couch. Jamie appeared in front of her. _"Hey, baby boy why don't you go into my room and watch TV? Uncle Lucas and I have to have a grown up talk." _ Jamie smiled, _"Okay Mama." _He said and ran off toward her room. _"Lucas, she said that?" "Yep." _He said sinking into the pillows on the couch. _"Then why the hell are you sitting on my couch?"_ Lucas shrugged his shoulders. It was then that Haley could tell that Lucas had enjoyed a few beers before making his way here. _"She told me, that we can't be together. Peyton can't handle it right now." _Haley's mouth turned into an o. _"Let me see that!" _ She said and snatched the piece of paper away from him. Haley's eyes glazed over the words and she sighed as she read it. _"She has every right to feel that way and you know it."_ She said folding the letter and handing it back to him. _"I miss her Hales." _ _"Then it's about time you start acting like it." _ She said folding her arms over her chest.

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Peyton turned the knob to find her best friend, Brooke peaking up from over the couch smiling. _"Hey, P. Sawyer"_ She said voice husky._ "Hi, Brookie, I'm home and look I found a strange man on the interstate, figured he needed a place to stay. Isn't he great?" _ Peyton said holding out her arm toward Julian, like those models on a game show, showing off some prize. Brooke stood up and looked at the man. Brooke smiled a signature Brooke Davis smile at him. _"He's a prize, all right Peyton." _ Brooke said making her and Peyton both giggle. Julian stuck his hand out. _"I'm Julian Baker." _ _"And this is my friend…" _Peyton started. _"I'm Brooke, Brooke Davis." _ Brooke said taking his hand and shaking it. _"Nice to meet you Brooke. I've heard a lot about you and read a little too." _ Brooke laughed. _"Page Six? Because I swear none of those rumors are true." _ Julian shook his head firmly. _"No, The Unkindness. I read about you in Lucas Scott's book." _

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"_Then it's about time you start to acting like it." _ Haley said facing Lucas, folding her arms over her chest. _"I…I… I have to go." _ Lucas said standing up quickly. _"Where are you going?" _Haley asked shooting up next to him. _"Home, I think I know how to fix this." _ Haley looked at him confused. _"How?" _ _"The only way I know how. I've got to write her another novel." _Lucas quickly made his way to the door. _"Luke!" _ Haley called but the only response she got was the slamming of her front door.

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Pure silence rushed over the living room. Brooke and Peyton's eyes were wide and Brooke started at Julian, shocked. You didn't say Lucas Scott's name is this house and you surely didn't mention the novel anywhere near Peyton. She'd mostly likely have an emotional breakdown with the mention of one and Julian Baker just went and brought them both up, like Brooke and Peyton talked about it all the time. _"Oh." _Brooke finally sputtered out. _"Is there a place you want me to put my bags?" _ Julian asked. _"Yeah, Jue. I'll show you to the guest bedroom." _Peyton said showing him up the stairs. _"Damn, Peyton I was really hoping to sleep beside you." _ Peyton laughed at his comment and showed him the way. _"This," _She said opening the door at the other end of the hall from Brooke's room. _"Is your room, Brooke made it up, so don't be shocked if you find a few surprises in here." _ Peyton snorted. Julian gave her a look. _"Now, don't be a baby," _She said rolling her eyes at him. _"My rooms downstairs but I'm up here a lot, in Brooke's room." _ Julian nodded. _"Get unpacked, we were going to order dinner soon, so come down stairs when you're ready." _ Peyton walked toward the door and reached out to touch the handle. She turned around quickly. _"By the way, we don't say __**his**__ name here. I'm asking you, not to bring it up, please." _ Peyton told him firm. She pushed her hair behind her ear and walked out of the room and down the stairs.

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Lucas sat at his desk, staring at the blank word document. The cursor mocked him and just sat there blinking and no words were coming to him. They were in his head but for some reason they weren't coming out of him. Word constipation that was a way to put it. He knew he had to tell Peyton how much he still loved her and it had to be different then The Unkindness or The Comet, this time Lucas Scott had to stand up and finally tell Peyton how much he loved her, he had to fight to be with her, he had to be a man and finally show her his heart. Lucas looked back up to the monitor as fingers sat on the keyboard. He clasped his eyes shut, and an image of Peyton came to his mind. He opened his eyes, and his fingers began to graze across the keys like a wildfire.

**TBC**

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**A/N: I was supposed to include Peyton's sonogram in this chapter but I felt like it would be dragged out too long. Next chapter will also be in the new [better] format that is more reader friendly. :D Hopefully all will be happy with me and I apologize about how fanfiction is treating my format. I'm now only one chapter ahead of what I'm posting. So that means a few things, not that I'm running out of ideas but I'm trying to find the right way to get there. Soap Net has been a miracle as well as my wonderful new DVR thanks to my mom's boyfriend. I'm catching up and still love leyton. :D I also noticed that I talk too much to you guys on these little author's notes. I just talk too much in general [I guess] and it's my only time for you to see what I'm really about. Didn't get to much love last chapter, hold on guys, don't give up on this story just yet. So, comments?! Please be nice and help me prevent some word constipation of my own. Ha-ha. -Kelsey**


	12. 10: A Moment of Change

**Frozen in Ink**

**Chapter 10: A Moment of Change**

"_We won't break, we won't die, it's just a moment of change..."_

_-One Republic [All We Are]_

Brooke sat with her elbows on the island, waiting for Peyton to come down the stairs. She knew that she was pissed, which wasn't going to help anything. Peyton came running down toward her, rubbing her eyes.

"P?"Brooke started.

"I'm fine,"Peyton responded opening up the fridge and grabbing a water bottle.

"Just these damn hormones. So where are we ordering from tonight?" Peyton asked leaning up against the counter next to her.

"Since we've tried all of the other exotic food places with no such luck I figured we just order pizza." Brooke said looking over to Peyton.

"Mama doesn't want pizza." Peyton said shaking her head and then taking a big gulp of her water.

"Well, what does mama want?" Brooke said laughing at her.

"Tacos!"

"I swear to god, if you start…."

Brooke's thought was interrupted by Julian trudging down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Hey Jue, we were just deciding what to order. What do you feel like?" Peyton asked looking up at him.

"You know what I like. What ever you want, you're the pregnant one."

Brooke glared at him, "Peyton said she wants Mexican. Does that work for you?" She asked highly annoyed.

Julian nodded, "That works."

"Since we have to try to find food that won't make Peyton sick basically we order off everything off the menu. There are two lists on the fridge." Brooke said pointing her finger over to the appliance.

"One is craving food, the other food that makes her sick, followed by smells of things that make her sick."

Julian looked back at Brooke horrified.

"Told you the vomiting could be arranged," Peyton said laughing.

Julian and Brooke smiled and looked at each other. Their brown eyes locked and Brooke found herself thinking he wasn't such a bad guy, he was here for Peyton, his ex-girlfriend for god sake. He had good intentions, she didn't know that until now, now she was sure. Peyton went into the drawer and grabbed a red sharpie and the menu and began to read it over and circle menu items.

"Here," She said handing it to Brooke. "Order all of this, plus whatever you two want. Desperate Housewives is about to start. Later." She said smiling, handing the menu to Brooke, and walking out toward the TV room to her program.

"She's happy. Being pregnant makes her super happy, like she's heavily medicated Peyton." Julian said walking over to stand beside Brooke so he could see the menu.

"Yeah, but she swings pretty fast, when she falls, she really falls. Once she cried for over two hours." Julian shook his head sadly and picked the sharpie up off the counter and circled a few things on the menu.

"I'm not Lucas and you're not Lucas," he said voice low. "We both can't save her, can we?" Julian slid the menu across the counter toward Brooke.

"No, I'm afraid not." She said picking up her phone and dialing the number to the restaurant.

------------------------------

Nathan sat on the couch of Mouth and Millie's apartment. He still hadn't had the guts to return to Lucas house, it had been two months, and Lucas and Lindsey's marriage had even been annulled, but truth be told he couldn't face his brother. Nathan was weak. He had a problem, but even that he couldn't admit, even to himself. Nathan had also spent less time with his son lately, he couldn't stand it, because it made him think and regret the choices he had been making. Peyton's words swam into him mind, _**'I'm pregnant, Nathan.'**_ Peyton was carrying his child and in this whole time he hadn't even given a damn. He was incredibly selfish and he knew it. He missed everything, the father he once was, the things he once liked, the man that Haley had showed him he could be. Being inside a woman, any woman was his top priority these days. Feeling good about himself, being a fucking dick, was his goal in life. He didn't care who he hurt, and the old Nathan who lived somewhere deep inside of him was really afraid of what that meant.

----------------------------------------------

Peyton took a bite into the taco sitting in front of her. "I think we've actually found a food that little worm over here and I agree with." She said placing her hand of her stomach.

Peyton, Brooke, and Julian sat Indian style on the floor in the living room, watching TV, and eating dinner.

"Good," Brooke said smiling. "We'll have to put these on the list."

"So, are you excited for tomorrow?" Julian asked her, popping a tortia chip into his mouth.

"I'll finally get to have pictures of my little worm to hang up," She said smiling. "And you know find out if it's a boy or a girl. I still have some mixed feelings but I can't ignore it, I'm starting to show."

"You look great P. Sawyer. You're the hottest pregnant woman I've seen." Peyton clasped her eyes shut, remembering that Brooke had said the same thing to Haley when she was pregnant with Jamie.

"Thanks." Peyton said half heartily. Julian opened his Styrofoam box with fajitas inside and Peyton turned an awful shade of grey. The smell of onions filled the room and Peyton got up and ran to the bathroom.

Brooke got up when she heard Peyton gag and looked over to Julian, "Add onions to list of sick foods please." Brooke stood up and walked toward the bathroom, leaving Julian alone with his 'sick' food.

------------------------------------

**The Next Morning**

Peyton turned over at the sound of the alarm clock screaming at her to get up, truth be told she'd been up for the last hour or so, thinking. Today was the day, there was no longer denying it any longer, there was another life growing inside of her. She knew it, other people knew it, but today was the day where she had to fully accept it, there was a chance that she and Lucas would never get back together, and there was a chance that this baby, _**her**_ baby, was going to be her new life, the new love of her life. She already loved it, already knew that this was what pure love was like, the love of the child that needed her, not the love of the man who made this baby with her. She turned the clock off, pulled the covers off of her body, and got out of bed, ready for a new day.

-----------------------------------------------------------

"Bye, have a good day Marvin." Millie said kissing Mouth's lips and watching him walk out the door. She sighed and leaned back into the kitchen counter drinking her coffee absently. She looked to find Nathan walking toward her. Millie wasn't really sure what had happened and why Nathan was now staying in their apartment, Mouth hadn't known much and didn't really want to pry, if Nathan needed help, he was his friend, he was going to help him.

"Good Morning, Nate." Millie said pushing up her glasses that were falling off.

"Hi, Millie. Do you mind if I get a cup of coffee?" He asked walking toward her hands behind his back.

"Sure, help yourself." Nathan walked behind her and brushed himself up against her.

Millie's eyes went wide with shock; she almost dropped her coffee cup that she was gripping in her hand. He couldn't be doing this; it was just some sort of accident.

"Coffee's hot." Nathan said making googoly eyes at her.

Now she knew Nathan Scott was hitting on her. Just the way his eyes were now settled on her chest, told her everything she needed to know.

"Um yeah, I guess. I've got to be going." She said quickly placing her cup on the counter and moving out of the room.

Nathan stepped in front of her and clutched her shoulders.

"Aww Mills, it's so boring here all alone, play hooky for a day."

"Sorry," She quickly sputtered out, trying to step around him.

Nathan grinned smugly. "You see, I think I make you nervous."

Millie shook her head, "Really I've got to get to work, sorry." Millie stepped around him and finally toward the apartment door.

She opened the door and exited the apartment without even grabbing her purse or her laptop, she just up in left. As she walked down the stairs and toward the exit of the building she sighed, she was completely and utterly freaked out, by what had just happened in her apartment.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Peyton stood in the shower as the warm water rushed over her body, she tensed as the warm beads melted into her back. She tried to keep her head from wondering too much, but it did, it always did. She moved the washcloth over her arms and scrubbed. She didn't want to hate her life or get all depressed and broody. But she felt so thin, so limited. Her heart wanted so much; she wanted the picture her mind had painted. In this picture her label was a huge success, she sold art, she was in love with Lucas, and they were married with a baby on the way, and she was completely, utterly happy. That was not her current picture and that was so hard for her to get over. Why wasn't she allowed to have everything? Why was life so hard, why was it so unfair? Peyton sighed and worked the wash cloth down her body. Not only do people always leave, **but nothing in life is ever fair. **

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Brooke sat at the island, legs crossed, finishing her strawberry yogurt. Julian sat beside her assessing the local paper like it was insane joke, like the National Inquire. "Anything wrong?" She asked placing her spoon on the surface of the counter.

"No." He stated, simply going back to the paper.

"You're just looking at it like it's some joke or something." Brooke said pulling her soft lavender rope tighter toward her body.

"Why would you say that?" He asked pushing his reading glasses up the bridge of his nose, still reading.

"Please, you just went through section B and rolled your eyes like the whole time." She said looking at him smugly.

Julian looked up and met Brooke's eyes. "I wasn't. I don't find this periodical a joke, okay? I was just kind of upset about they can call someone marriage annulment, local news." He said doing air quotes on his last two words.

"What?" Brooke said snatching the paper away from him and reading over the bold headline. **LUCAS SCOTT'S MARRIAGE OVER. ** Brooke's eyes grazed over to the bi-line. **COULD PEYTON SAWYER HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT? **

Brooke scoffed at the bi-line and handed Julian his paper back. "This town is a fucking joke," Brooke said shaking her head.

"Your words not mine." Julian said putting his hands up in the air.

"We cannot let Peyton see this, okay?" Brooke told him firmly.

"Let me see what?" Brooke and Julian turned their heads to see Peyton walk into the room, dressed, and smiling.

Brooke and Julian stayed silent for a moment. "Coffee, P. Sawyer. Pregnant women are not allowed coffee." Brooke said smiling.

"I don't really like coffee." Peyton said searching Brooke and Julian's eyes.

"Still can't tempt you." Julian spat back, he put his head back down and acting like he was again reading.

"Well, anyway. The shower's all yours B. Go ahead." Peyton said shaking her head at her best friend.

Brooke smiled at her and got up from her stool. "Okay, just hoped you saved me some hot water."

Peyton laughed at her. "Of course I did, you're usually the one that usually uses it all dummy."

"Duh!" Brooke says and nervously walks out of the room and up the stairs.

"What the hell was that about?" Peyton said taking a seat next to Julian.

"What do you mean?" Julian asked her avoiding her green eyes.

"Oh My God!" Peyton gasped.

Julian looked at her wild eyed. "What?"

"You guys doing something dirty! Omigod!"

"No, Peyton. We most defiantly were not doing anything dirty."

"Um hum. Sure Jue, whatever you say." She told him shaking her head and rolling her eyes.

"Really, Peyton. We weren't."

"If you say so. Now do you mind giving me a part of your paper?"

Julian sifted through the paper and gave her half, intentionally giving her the half with the classifieds and most defiantly not section B.

"YES! Arts and Leisure." She grins.

Shit, he actually gave her the part he wanted to read, he smiles and goes back to the sports section.

--------------------------------------------------------

The car is silent, Brooke's hand firmly on the wheel, Peyton's eyes gazes out the window. There is no music playing, Peyton can't really think of anything she wants to hear. She can't think of a song to fit this moment, the thought of her life changing moment. It's stuck in her head, nothing else, she cannot think. The landscape of the town she grew up in is passing her by. All bringing back memories of her childhood, her adolescent years, her past, her life. She cannot escape them anymore, and when they come to a stop at the intersection that turns onto Lucas's street she feels her skin crawl. Brooke gives it gas when the light turn green and Peyton begins to shake when she watches the letters of the street sign blaze by. Her own head is a mystery to her. Brooke looks over for a moment and sighs.

"You nervous?" She said breaking the silence.

Peyton looks over and gives her the brunette a weak smile. "Yeah," She admits. "I really, really, am."

"It's going to be, okay." Brooke said her voice steady.

"I feel like I'm making you keep saying that, but honestly Brooke, I don't think it's going to be okay." Peyton said hiccupping voice as tears began to drip out of her eyes.

The SUV veered into the parking lot of the doctor's office. Brooke parked and placed her hand on the blonde's shoulder.

"You got to have a little faith honey. I know it all seems bad now, but once you have that little worm in your arms it's going to be worth it, none of it's going to matter."

"Okay," Peyton said firmly wiping the tears from her eyes.

The two stepped out of the car and walked toward the building.

---------------------------------------------------------------

White, Peyton had never seen so much binding white in her life. She looked over at Brooke who had a Parent's Magazine in her hand. Everything was sterile, bland, colorless light. The surfaces, the clothing of the doctors, there was no color, it was driving her crazy. She shifts in the plastic chair, uncomfortable, nervous, pregnant. She began to tap her finger on her chin and let her eyes wonder the room, white, everything was white. Her life now was a bland canvas, white and ready for her to add her own color.

"Miss. Sawyer," A young nurse said coming out of the swinging door. Peyton stood up and Brooke put her magazine down on the hard plastic table.

"You ready for this?" Brooke asked linking arms with Peyton.

"As I'll ever be," And the two followed the nurse behind the swinging door.

The exam room was no better, but somehow Peyton found a slight comfort in it. She lay on the exam table and kept looking over the room with her eyes, Brooke stood up against the wall arms crossed, watching a nervous Peyton looking around the room. Brooke couldn't imagine being Peyton, she wouldn't be able to hold on to herself together the way her best friend was.

"Good morning, Peyton." Doctor Harper said opening the door making the friends look up.

"Hi Doc," Peyton said flashing a quick smile to the doctor

"And who might this be?" the doctor said stepping toward Brooke.

"I'm Brooke Davis," She said holding out her hand. The doctor shook it.

"I'm Peyton's best friend."

"That's good; everyone needs a support system here, huh Peyton?"

"Most defently," Peyton said smiling.

"Alright so let's get this show on the road, were running short on Ultrasound Techs, so if you don't mind I can do the sonogram for you."

"That's fine."

The doctor lifted Peyton's shirt up and starting hooking up the different machines.

"You can come stand beside Peyton if you want to be able to see this monitor over here,"

Brooke moved over to Peyton side and squeezed her hand.

"Alright, Peyton, this gel is going to be real cold but I'm just going to squeeze it on you belly here."

The doctor took the tube of gel and squeezed it over her belly. Peyton flinched causing Brooke to giggle.

"Hey, don't laugh at me, it's really cold."

"Here we go," the doctor said placing the probe over her stomach.

The room filled with the sound of thumbing, a heart beat, the sound of life.

"Peyton," Brooke started.

Peyton's eyes began to well up with tears.

"That's my baby." Peyton said peering up to look at the form on the ultrasound monitor.

"Would you like to know the sex?" The doctor asked.

Peyton looked at Brooke, they were both smiling with tears streaming down their faces.

"Mhmmm." Peyton said nodding her head up and down.

The doctor moved the probe over her stomach, the sound of her child's heart beat filling up the room.

"It's a girl."

And with that, Peyton Sawyer's world changed.

_**Thump-thump-thump-thump **_

**TBC**

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**A/N: Today was a snow day, we only got a few inches and in the area I live in that was a decent amount. Up in the DC area they got like 6 plus inches. But that's not really important. I'd love to hear your thoughts, if you put this story on alert, I'd love for you to just tell me what you think. **

**PLEASE! -Kelsey**


	13. 11: In Black and White

**Frozen in Ink**

**Chapter 11: In Black and White**

"_See I thought love was black and white. That it was wrong or it was right  
But you aren't leaving without a fight And I think I am just as torn inside"_

_-Missy Higgins [Where I Stood]_

**A/N: A little bit of smut in this chapter, not too graphic but enough to say that it's a little M. You just have to read to find out who is being all smutty. [not too long, though] Guess! And then in your review tell me. :)**

_**Chapter Dedicated to-ReeseHolden: You've been reading this story from the first chapters and I really thank you for your honest and always helpful feedback on this story. You have no idea how great they makes me feel and how that helps me pull out chapters like this, ones I hope you'll love.**_

_**--**_

"Daddy Lucas," The small innocent voice of a little girl chirped.

Lucas turned around with a big grin on his face to see the petite little girl with long curly dark brown hair and big blue eyes with gold specs in the irises peering from behind the small pear tree in the back yard.

"I found you," Lucas said laughing and crotched down and began to tickle the little girl's belly.

She shrieked and Lucas picked her up, "Stop Daddy Lucas, Stop!"

Lucas carried her up to the front porch where Peyton sat in the swing with a small bundle in her arms.

"Hi, Mommy," The little girl said giggling as Lucas sat down beside Peyton on the swing.

"Well Hi there." Lucas leaned over and kissed her softly.

Peyton ran her finger around the check bone of her newborn and smiled. "He looks like his daddy."

"Hmmm," Lucas said looking at the little boy in Peyton's arms.

"He does kind of resemble the mail man, huh?"

Peyton hit him in the arm and he winced.

"That's not very nice mommy, you and Daddy Lucas say it's not nice to hit." She said shifting in Lucas's lap, to face Peyton.

Peyton smiled at her daughter. "That's right honey, but I'm married to Daddy Lucas so it's different."

"How?" The four year old asked her mom.

"Well honey, when you marry someone um um…" Peyton trailed off.

"What your mom means to say was that she shouldn't have hit me, she still loves me though. Right Peyt?" Lucas smiled at Peyton and back at the little girl sitting in his lap.

"Of course, I love you all very much." She looked back at her and Lucas's newborn son and smiled at the sleeping baby.

"You got all your stuff packed, munchkin?" Lucas asked tucking the stray curls behind the child's ear.

"Yeah, hon why don't you go in your room and make sure everything's packed up. Your daddy will be here soon." Peyton said touching her daughter's shoulder.

The little girl jumped off of Lucas's lap and went into the house.

Lucas looked away visibly upset.

"Hey," Peyton said grabbing his hand and intertwining their fingers, her wedding band pressed into his palm.

"You okay?" Lucas shook his head.

"I hate when she leaves." He said genuinely. "I know I'm not her dad but I love her and it just hurts when she goes away with him."

"I miss her too, Luke."

"Sometimes I feel like I'm not as important to her you know. My heart aches when she leaves, it really hurts."

"Aww Luke, honey." Peyton said gently. "We are a family, all of us. You are a father to her. Just like my mom and Ellie where both mothers to me. She loves you honey, you know that. You matter to her. She always wants to you read to her and wants you to be the first to hear her little stories."

"You mean that Peyt?"

Peyton pressed a kiss to Lucas's forehead.

"You bet."

Lucas ran his fingers over his son's brow.

"I love you, wifey." He said admiring his son and then her. They were both so beautiful.

"_**I love you too," **_

--

Lucas awoke with a start, sitting up with sweat dripping down his brow. It was all a dream, the life with Peyton, the baby boy in her lap, and the little girl who called him 'Daddy Lucas'. The images haunted him, it all felt so real. He loved Peyton, he felt that all the dream really meant was that he missed Peyton and that's what he wanted with her, a family. What he didn't know that across town Peyton had had the same dream and was equally haunted by it. The only thing Lucas couldn't explain was why he couldn't go back to sleep no matter how hard her tried, so he did what most creative minds do when they cannot sleep, he practiced his art.

-----

Peyton sat up in bed and brushed her fingers around the edges of the ultrasound photo. In the black and white and equal shades of gray in the photo held the picture of her daughter. She closed her eyes going back to the dream she had just had, the little girl with the curly dark brown hair, which was her baby, the one who was now safely nuzzled inside her womb. She felt the warm salty tears flow down her cheeks and she wiped them away. That was what she wanted her future to be, her, Lucas, the baby. Peyton wanted that family but the question was could Lucas still love her after everything that had happened. Could he really love her if she was having his brother's child? That was the question she had been honestly wrestling with since she found out she was pregnant.

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**The Next Morning**

Haley was beginning to hate Mondays, no one ever really likes them, except for her, she found them refreshing, a new week, a fresh start. That's how she use to think of things anyway, but now she was no longer very positive, Nathan was refusing to get help and hadn't been coming around, which she now knew that she had to act on her empty threat of divorce. She didn't really want to divorce him, she had only held the smallest little glimmer of hope, kind of like when the there is a little beam of light on the ocean when it's a cloudy day, she wanted him to change, she wanted the clouds to roll away. Jamie was so upset, she didn't really know to explain to him what was going on, and she herself didn't know anything, so how could she explain that to her four year old. _**She just couldn't.**_ She couldn't get through to her students, everything, everything was really falling apart. She didn't want to sit there and wallow in her own self-pity, but yet as she sat at the kitchen table drinking her third cup of coffee she couldn't just be hopeful anymore, she had no more stars left to wish on, she had no wishbone to break, she was empty and that scared her.

-----

"Hey Peyton," a voice chirped with a knock on the hard wood of her door.

Peyton sat at the end of her bed tying her shoe; she looked up to see Julian at the door.

"Oh hey Julian," She finished the knot of her running shoe and smiled at him.

"You mind if I come in?"

Peyton laughed softly. "No, come on in."

Julian sat down beside her at the foot of her bed. "So tell me about the appointment."

Peyton got up quickly and walked over to her desk and grabbed the ultrasound pictures.

"Here," She said handing them to him.

Julian eyes glazed over the pictures of the gray little form on the images. "Amazing," She sat back down beside him.

Peyton pointed at the picture. "There's the hand," She said pointing it out.

"Looks like it's waving," Peyton smiled.

"I think she is."

"It's a girl?" Julian asked, looking at the next photo on the strip.

"Yes, I'm having a little girl," "Looks like you're very smart."

They both chuckled. "Are you happy, Peyton?" Julian asked her, his face was serious, he cared. In that moment she wanted to reach over and kiss him, not because she still had feelings for him, but because he really cared for her and the little baby growing inside of her.

"I guess I'm happy, I miss him." She added softly.

"I know you do, Peyton." He knew who she was talking about.

"I think I'm happy, I'm happy about this baby, I love her. But I'm not happy with the circumstances, I'm not happy that one day I'll have to do this all by myself. You'll leave, Brooke will have a life. I'm happy that right now I don't go to work every day. I miss my job and my company but just having it on a little break for a while, while I figure out everything has been good. I'm happy that I'm healthy, and I'm happy that I'm here, alive, breathing. I'm happy that I have people who really care about me, but everything else isn't really making me happy."

Julian took her hand in to his. "Lucas and Haley?" he asked as if he could read her thoughts.

She nodded and felt tears began to prickle around her eyes. She thought that she was crying to damn much; she of course blamed it on the hormones and not her current drama filled situation.

"It's all going to be, okay. I promise," He sounded so much like Lucas, it reminded her of and old yet broken record. Everything wasn't okay, and she was tired of people telling her it would be.

Julian kissed her temple and left her alone in her room, after that Peyton had the urge to bolt for the four walls that now contained her.

------

Brooke had a plan, she usually did, although she was never the best in a crisis, she knew how to handle herself, and of course defend Peyton. She had woken up early, took a shower, and got ready, she knew this had to be done, one way or another, and if Peyton didn't do or couldn't do it, she would. So, when she arrived at Mouth's apartment complex around seven-thirty she had all the confidence in the world she needed. It was time that Brooke Davis gave Nathan Scott a piece of her mind.

"Hey Brooke," Mouth said opening the door.

"Hi, is Nathan here? I really need to talk to him,"

"Yeah, but I think he's asleep, I let him know that you stopped by." He stated and started to close the door a little bit.

Brooke pushed her way through the door and walked into his and Millie's apartment.

"I'm sorry Mouth, this really can't wait."

"Is everything okay with Haley and Jamie?"

"They're fine," She lied, well not really lied, but since she hadn't talked to Haley or Jamie in three months, she had no idea how they were, if one of her best friends or her godson were okay.

"Which one is his room?" Mouth pointed to one of the doors and Brooke smiled, "Don't worry Mouth, everything's okay. Let Millie know she has the day off, I know you have Mondays off so spend the day together."

"Thanks, Brooke." Mouth walked away towards his and Millicent's bedroom.

Brooke stood in front of the door and turned the handle slowly careful not to wake Nathan. He was asleep, just as Mouth predicted. She looked at sleeping form in the bed.

Brooke ran her hands through her hair and exhaled. She walked over to the bed and straddled him, her mini-shirt riding up her thighs; she felt him stir and grinned at this very smart method she had thought of.

Somehow she felt hands began to travel up her thighs and she sighed. "Nathan,"

"Speak of the devil, Brooke Davis, I was just dreaming about you," She grunted disgusted.

"I suspect it was something dirty,"

He opened his eyes to look up at her, "Your suspicions are correct,"

"Hmmm." She said bending her head a little so her cleavage was right where he could see it. She was going to make this so painful for him, he wasn't coming out unscratched.

"I guess you're here because your horny, I'm up for that," Then she knew she was going to tease him, so bad, she was going to hurt him, like he hurt Peyton, Haley, and his son. She felt him sit up so their faces were only a few inches apart.

"Good Morning," He grunted and he then leaned in and kissed her, it was a hot, heavy kiss, sloppy, both reeling for control. They both wanted it for different reason, his was easy, he always needed control, and hers was so she could have the inch of power over him. She pushed him down on to the bed so he was now lying flat on his back, he moved his hands up her skirt, he wanted her, and he was going to have her.

They broke apart, and Brooke began kissing his jaw, he moaned, she had him, he was so close. Brooke suddenly felt a cold under her skirt and then his finger deep inside her, she moaned. She tugged on his shirt, it had been so long since she had sex, six months, he was partly right, she was a little horny.

So, Brooke stopped thinking, forgot the plan, and began to do what her body wanted her to. Nathan rolled her over, so he was now on top, and she lay underneath him. He was now shirtless and Brooke began to guide her fingers across his sculpted muscles on his chest. He tugged off her skirt; she wrapped her legs around him and felt the bulge in his sweatpants. "You want me?" She asked guiding her tongue over his chest. "God," He groaned with all the other girls he had never enjoyed himself so much, never been so turned on.

He let his hands dance up her back and undid her bra clasp and pulled the bra out from under her shirt and threw it on the floor. Brooke lifted her arms up and Nathan pulled her shirt over her head. They were now lying skin to skin. Brooke rolled them over and began kissing his chest and traveled down under the quilt till she was at his waist. He felt his pants come off and felt the warm sensation of her hands on his lower abdomen. She pulled on his boxers until they were at his ankles and began to kiss every part of him. Brooke took him into her mouth and heard him scream her name. "Brooke, Brooke, Brooke!" She came back up after a few moments and kissed him hard and full of lust. Nathan then turned them over pinning her down by the hands. He then went down and began to use his mouth to explore parts of her he never had before. He felt her orgasm a few times and wimpier out his name. Brooke reached down and ran her fingers through Nathan's dark hair, showing him she was pleased. "Nathan, I want you," She screamed, voice dripping with desire. He came back up kissing her stomach and came up to her breasts, he sucked her nipple. He felt himself harden; even more then he was already, if that was even possible. "Now!" She said breathy. "NOW!" He kissed her around the nipple and came back up kissing her lips with a hunger he'd never felt before. Their tongues danced and Brooke's legs wrapped around his hips.

He reached into the nightstand breaking their kiss, and got out a condom. He slipped it onto himself and she smiled up at him. He linked hands with her, their fingers intertwined, and he entered her. Their bodies rocked steady and fully, they both moaned and called out each others names, until he collapsed on top of her.

-------

Haley sat at her desk grading papers, done with finally failing half her students, she sighed and put her red pen in her desk drawer. She put her head in her hands and felt that sense of lose wash-over her. She looked up at the sound of a knocking on her door to see Lucas standing there.

"Hey," She said motioning him to come in.

"You okay?" Lucas asked her.

"No, I'm tired. Jamie was up all night with a fever. I had to send him to school today, because I no longer have any vacation days."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"Because I know how busy you are. The team is doing well, I'm sorry Jamie and I haven't been able to come to that many games."

"Don't apologize, Hales." He said softly taking her hand. "I understand."

Haley looked into his eyes and saw the sadness that was so boldly present in his eyes.

"It's okay to miss her, Luke."

"I had a dream last night," He said slowly admitting how he felt.

"We were married and had kids, I want that."

"You're allowed to have it. You have to stop with this crazy crusade of writing a novel and you just go and talk to her, you tell her what she means to you, you tell her why you married Lindsey and you tell everything you've told me. You have to tell her, Lucas."

"I will,"

"Good." Haley smiled at him. "Do you think you could go get me a cup of coffee, my class is coming in a few minutes, so I won't have time?"

"Yeah, I know what you want." Haley started digging in her purse for money.

"No, I got it." He said smiling. He walked out of the classroom and was now headed for the coffee shop.

-----

Peyton walked down the sidewalk on Main Street, she paced around until finally making her way into the coffee shop, she wasn't a big coffee drinker, but she had the most consuming craving for some hot chocolate. It was killing her, she had to have some, and of course get out of her house, she was losing her mind.

She walked up to the bar and ordered and sat down at table.

They call out her order and she goes up to retrieve it, then she hears his voice.

"I'll have a venti latté with foam and a tall coffee black."

She sees all red, she wants to run away, but he's standing only a few feet away from her.

She turns before he can spot her and walks toward the door.

"Peyton?" Too late.

She turns around slowly and smiles a fake smile. "Hi Luke,"

-------------

Brooke pulls her shirt over her head, guilt takes over her, she is so ashamed of what she's just done.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Brooke cringes, what the hell has she just done?

"I..I..brought you something," She said voice on the edge of breaking.

"Really?" He asks, his voice is so full of smug, god he was such an asshole.

Brooke digs into her purse and takes out the photos, slowly.

"I had the doctor make me extra copies, just for you." Her voice is angry now.

He looks at the ultrasound photos, on them it's written _mother: Peyton Sawyer. _

Nathan is silent nothing comes out of his mouth.

"I figured you want pictures of your daughter."

"It's a girl?" he said softly.

"Yes dickface, that's your daughter."

The room is silent, Brooke glares at him.

"I can't believe this." He says softly.

"Well you better start, because six months from now she'll be here."

He felt his heart strings be torn in tiny pieces by the images in black and white of the baby, Peyton's baby, his and Peyton's baby.

"Okay," he says.

"What?! What are you talking about?"

"Okay, I'll be there for her."

"What the fuck ever, maybe when hell freezes over." Brooke says and slams the door leaving Nathan alone to think about what he's done.

--------

**A/N: So what did you guys think? I'm sorry about the smut and I know you guys are mad at both Brooke and Nathan, but she feels really bad about it. You'll see next chapter. Lucas and Peyton finally bumped into each other. Hmm what's going to happen? So I making a new rule please don't be upset and call me a review whore, but I'm going to ask that if you want chapter 12 you'll have to give me 12 or more reviews. I looked at my story stats the other day and I saw that I have so many views but not many reviews. I just want to know if you guys like where I'm taking this story, if you like it, in general, ect. I don't want to waste my time writing something that everyone hates. So please start to review. It's like a very nice encouraging nod, and helps me when writing a new chapter. For chapter 10 I got six reviews [three from what I think were new readers] and for Chapter 9 only three. It's like a reward system. :) Have a nice rest of the weekend. -Kelsey**


	14. 12: Apologize to Me

**Frozen in Ink**

**Chapter 12: Apologize To Me**

"_I need you like a heart needs a beat but it's nothing new. _

_I loved you with a fire red now it's turning blue, and you say_

_Sorry like an angel heaven let me think was you, but I'm afraid._

_It's too late to apologize, it's too late."- One Republic [Apologize]_

_**Chapter dedicated to- All of you brand new reviewers: Thanks for giving my story a chance and for taking time to review. I'm glad that you like it, and I hope you keep reading. **_

_**-------**_

"Peyton?"

"Hi Luke,"

She walks over to him slowly and reads his eyes, he's happy to see her, he can't tell. He doesn't know.

"How have you been?" He asks her, she feels dizzy, lovesick.

"Um you know I've been okay." He smiles at her, the grin, the Lucas grin, Peyton's legs feel like jell-o, she's off center.

He walks toward the other side of the café to get out of the people behind him way. She follows.

"That's really great, Peyt. You look amazing by the way." She laughs and sits down at her table; he sits in front of her.

"Not really, you look good though."

"Peyton, what are you talking about? You always look amazing." Peyton felt a blush rush up to her cheeks.

"Thank you Lucas."

"I thought you didn't like coffee." he states, he knows her so well.

"Yeah, I don't. I was just really in the need for a hot-chocolate."

"It is getting pretty cold out, huh?"

"Freezing. I can't believe it's almost Thanksgiving." She adds.

The barista calls out Lucas's order.

"Well Peyton," he says placing his hand on hers. She feels the heat in his touch; it's still there, the spark.

"I've got to get this coffee to Haley, but I'll see you soon."

"Okay," he gets up and grabs the coffees and walks toward the door, he looks at her once more before heading out, he can only think about how beautiful she looks.

"I'll be seeing you," he says followed by the sound of the bell above the door.

Peyton smiles, he just told her all she needs to know, he most certainly will be seeing her.

-----  
Brooke jumps into the shower, the water is so hot that her skin turns pink.

Steam rises up over he head, and she cries, she sobs loudly, and it's earth shattering.

She thinks of what a bad person she is, why she's always the one who makes these kinds of mistakes, and she comes up the answer that surprises her, it's just all she's ever done.

She scrubs her skin until it bleeds and cries more, this is her fault, she deserves this.

Once she thinks she all but washed all the filth off her body, she get out of the shower, skin pink and raw, and wraps a soft towel around her body.

She dries off and with her back turned she turns her head and looks in the mirror only to see strong, deep, red, scratch marks down her back.

_**She only hurt herself. **_

-----

Lucas returns to school with a big smile on his face. He's giddy almost like a school girl, no one could wipe the smile on his face, he saw Peyton, his Peyton, and they actually carried a conversation.

He walks down the familiar hallways, each locker; each tile in the floor brings back the memories of high school four years prior. He hates to say he misses it. He wanted so bad to be a grown up but now his life was in shambles, twenty four and already a divorcee. Not technically anyhow, but in his mind that's kind of how he sees it. He hates to admit he'd love to go back to Senior Year and be with Peyton all over again. But really you can't hide from truth, no matter how hard you try. He knew from experience how true that statement was and its name is Lindsey.

Lucas finally stops in front of Haley's classroom door to see she is standing up in front of her class lecturing about modern fiction. Her class seems to not really care about Jodi Picoult or James Patterson and would rather text the person next to them or sleeps. He shakes his head and walks into the classroom.

"Hi, Ms. James-Scott." He says entering the classroom coffee cup in hand.

"Coach Scott," she responds laughing lightly.

"I brought coffee," Lucas hands her the Styrofoam cup and she smiles taking a quick sip and then takes a seat at her desk.

"Well, class I have a treat for you," she says giving Luke and look and then looking back to her students.

"If you guys don't know this is my good friend and brother in law, Lucas Scott, he's a novelist, already written two novels, one a best seller."

"Haley, no!" he whispers under breath, he knows what she's cornered him into to.

"And since you guys are having such a hard time relating to the curriculum and what real novelists face while writing and our school certainly can't afford to say air ship Jodi Picoult or James Patterson to you, we'll improvise." Haley grins. She always likes to hear him talk about his writing and maybe this could really help her student's understand, maybe she could get through to them, just maybe like she did back in high school when she was a tutor.

"I'll get you back later, Hales," He whispers and smiles up at the class of juniors, god junior year, he remembers, what a year.

"Hi, well you guys know, I'm Lucas Scott, I'm a basketball coach here, and I try to write when I go home at night. I've written two novels one, The Unkindness of Ravens, sound familiar?"

He looks into the crowd of kids and sees a few girls light up, as if remembering the epic love story he wrote down so many years ago.

"Wait," one of the girls in the middle row calls out. "You're Lucas Scott? As in THE Lucas Scott?!"

He nods and runs his hands through his hair. "Yeah, that would be me."

"Are you still in love with Peyton Sawyer?" another girl asks sitting in the front row.

He turns to look at Haley and then back at the group, "Yeah," he says softly "I am in love with Peyton Sawyer."

----------

When you look into the mirror, what you see is not always what's there, some people look at themselves and see a totally different person, some see the down dirty scoundrel that they are, other see what they've always wanted to be. Did you know that some of the most beautiful people on the planet are ugly on the inside? So ugly that if you knew that true person you could never looks at them the same. They hide behind their physical beauty and never once see they layers of themselves are rotten and worn away.

When Nathan Scott looks in the mirror he sees, what he's always seen, dark hair, blue eyes, a charming smile, but what doesn't get past him is the person he's becoming, the man who's so screwed up it only takes one look into his eyes, a good long look, to see how much he's changed.

After having sex with Brooke he doesn't feel better, in fact he feels so dirty, so disgusting, he actually wants to vomit. Sex never did that before and for the first time in a long time he finally sees something, clear as day, he has a problem, and he wants to be the man he use to be. The lightening strikes in his head and gets up and walks toward the kitchen. He hears soft sounds and murmurs of lovemaking coming from Mouth and Millie's room and smiles thinking of Haley. God he misses her, not just the sex part of their relationship but all of it, just being with her made him better, he wants to be better for her.

Nathan reaches on top of the refrigerator and grabs the phone book, yellow and thick with importance and life changing information. He smiles and opens it up looking for a number to finally fix everything. In that moment everything came full circle, there really was a light at the end of a long dark, tunnel.

------

Brooke finished stuffing the last article of clothing in her suitcase, she doesn't want to do this, leave Peyton, but Brooke reasoned that she still had Julian and Victoria was riding her about Clothes over Bros, she just had to leave. She didn't really need to; Julian and the store was her scapegoat in all this. Peyton needed her, in six months there would be a baby here, that Peyton wouldn't in the least bit be ready for.

Brooke sat on top of the suitcase on her bed, head in her hands, she picked up her cell phone, dialed a number, and waited for a response, she had to apologize, she had to make this right.

------

Haley arrived home early, she had a quick talk to Lucas about his discussion with the class, things were going to be okay, or she was going to hurt someone. When she reached her living room, she started to take her shoes off when she saw him. Nathan was standing in right in front of her.

"What are you doing here?"

"Hi Haley," he whispered softly.

"I wanted to come here an apologize to you,"

"Nathan, what the hell is going on?" she asked him, searching his eyes.

"Haley, I've done a lot of wrong these past six months, a lot of wrong…"his trailed off trying to figure how to tell his wife all the wrong he'd done.

"I know that,"

"I'm going into treatment tonight,"

"Oh my god Nathan!" she reached over and hugged him. "That's great."

He felt the guilt wash over him at her touch, he screwed up royally.

"Would you mind sitting down? I really want to speak to you about a few things."

"Sure," Haley takes a seat on the long blue couch, he sits next to her.

"I've hurt you so bad," he says taking her hand.

"And there are some things that right here right now I want to admit to you,"

Haley looks into his blue eyes, trying so hard to read them.

"I'm sorry that I've abandoned you and our son, you don't deserve that Haley. I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you when you needed me after the accident. I'd take all that back in a heart beat."

"I know," she says softly.

"I'm sorry that I committed adultery with Carrie, I don't know what I was thinking."

"Damn straight," she says looking at him wild-eyed. She doesn't like to remember that, she hates to.

"The night of Lucas's wedding I went out drinking," he started how was he supposed to tell her that he'd slept with Peyton, Lucas's Peyton?

"And I was really upset, and I made a mistake Haley, a big mistake."

"What did you do Nathan?" She asks squeezing his hand.

"I…I… I slept with Peyton." Haley drops his hand and looks at him stunned.

"How could you do that? To me? To Lucas? To her? EVEN TO HER!"

Haley stood up her fist clenched; she felt her finger nails digging into her palms, blood trickling down.

"It was a mistake, Haley. I wish it never happened."

"Just like you wish all the others didn't happen! GET OUT! JUST GET THE FUCK OUT!"

"Haley," he pleaded.

"I SAID OUT!"

"Okay, I love you Haley, tell Jamie too," And he got up and walked toward the door.

"YOU SURE HAVE A HELL OF WAY OF SHOWING IT!" she screamed.

The door slammed and Haley collapsed in a fit of tears.

------

The airport was crowded, and after admitting her mistakes to Marley about how she was in no way fit to foster a child, Brooke felt a sense of chill come over her body, it was like when one day during the winter the weather is unseasonably warm, but then the wind blows reminding you of how cold it can be. She didn't want to leave Tree Hill, but she wasn't strong enough yet to handle this, she needed to grow just a little. So once her flight to New York was called, she walked toward the terminal, looked back a few times, and then boarded the plane.

----

There was a sharp knock on the front door, Julian was sitting in the living room so he got up and opened it. There stood Lucas Scott and Julian Baker, both standing in front of each other not knowing that they were both the old loves of Peyton Sawyer. Lucas looked at the man puzzled as to why he'd be here, he asked himself all sorts of questions.

_Who's this guy? _

_Does he live here?  
Is this Brooke's new boyfriend?  
_And then the question that was the hardest for him to swallow.

_Is he with Peyton? _

That question sickened Lucas to no end.

"Can I help you?" Julian asked.

"Yeah, I'm I'm looking for Peyton."

"Oh, yeah, she's uh here." Julian said opening the door a little and stepping aside.

"I'm Julian Baker," he said extended his hand to Lucas.

"Lucas, Lucas Scott."

The face on Julian's face was undesirable, a mixture of shook, confusion, and a ting of happiness.

"I've read your book, it's really great man."

"Thanks,"

"Hey why don't you sit here in the living room, I'll get Peyton."

"Okay thanks."

Julian knocked on Peyton's door and opened it quickly.

She stood in front of a full length mirror, her shirt up looking at her small belly.

"Hey Jue, would you mind?"

"Lucas is here." he rushed out

Knots grew in Peyton's stomach.

"What?"

"He wants to see you and unless you would like him to see that pretty little baby bump you better put on some baggy clothes."

She smiles at him and brushes her curly hair behind her ear.

"Thanks Jue, god only knows what he's assuming about you and me."

Julian chuckled. "The truth."

"I doubt that."

"I'll tell him you're changing. See you in a minute." Julian leaves her alone in her red bedroom.

Peyton takes one long look over body and the small little bump on her.

"Daddy Lucas is here," she whispers placing her hand on her abdomen.

-------

**A/N: Good Chapter? Bad Chapter? I'm sorry if it feels a little rushed I wasn't in my best writing mood. I'm sorry this update took so long, thank you for all of you who reviewed last chapter; my internet was down last night, as well as my phone, and TV. Something happened in our neighborhood, no idea. I also got in trouble and I'm actually surprised I have this done at all, my mom took all my stuff away, long story short It wasn't a very fun weekend. Today I'm going to the children's hospital to see a rheumatologist about this supper bad pain all over and in my joints. Remember 13 reviews if you want chapter 13. Special thanks to all my regulars for still sticking with this story. [hey newbies I dedicated this chapter to you, don't get upset.] I LOVE all of you guys for your support and feedback. Also I strongly suggest to all of you guys who aren't reading spoiler boards and are not listening to gossip about who is leaving and who isn't, keep doing that. Because now I'm dreading next week instead of being excited for the new episode. [cause I read the boards and watched Hilarie's vlog twenty times] But by looks of it, it's going to be a pretty heavy episode. Anyway remember to leave me your love and that is but not limited too, comments, favoriting, or alerting. [how bout all three?:D] Have a good week guys. **

**-Kelsey**


	15. IMPORTANT NOTE READ THIS

Author Note:

Hi, guys. I know this isn't suppose to be allowed, but if your reading I want you to know how sorry I am about the whole updating thing, but you should know that I never got enough reviews anyway. I'm beginning to loath this story, because some people are right here, the idea makes everyone WAY too out of character. I love it, but I think most of my ideas would make you guys angry and you'd never want to read anything I write again. If by some chance I get a total review count of 85 then I might reconsider. But right now consider this a hiatus. -Kelseyy


	16. 13: Bitter Taste

**Frozen in Ink**

**Chapter 13: Bitter Taste**

"_It's the bitter taste of losing everything that I've held so dear._

_I'm fallen I have sunk so low. I've messed up better I should know._

_So don't come round here and tell me I told you so." –Sarah McLachlan [Fallen]_

**A/N: So I'm back, couldn't stay away, you guys are right, I'm from now on writing this for me, and I want to thank you all for your support, Spring Break is over and now I'm relaxed and regrouped, So I was thinking that I might be able to give you more story and of course 14 reviews for this chapter:) Since I felt SO bad for making you wait for this, I wrote a one-shot as a little gift for all of you guys for your really great encouragement. I'm going to try my best to update as much as possible. SO PLEASE, let me know what you think, and press that little button at the bottom of the screen and let me know what you think. :) Don't forget to check out the one-shot (entitled Shades of Patience) BTW: the time stated is the time at the end of the scene. Happy Reading -Kelsey**

_**---**_

**New York City; An Hour and a Half Earlier**

This city had always amazed her, how everything moved so fast, how people interacted, and a touch, a simple bumping into someone on the sidewalk can change your life, or at least it had always been that way in the movies. Brooke never really got to experience the real heart of the city, she'd never been anywhere besides the upper east side of Manhattan and never really went anywhere she actually wanted to go besides her apartment and the office, she only had a view of Time's Square from her penthouse, she never actually got to stand there and breathe in the air chockfull of smog and pollutants. That wasn't what her life was, she spent hours in the office working her ass off like there was no tomorrow, she loved it, but what came after the work, when she showered and ran a brush through her hair was the part she hated. She had to be what Victoria wanted her to be, she had to dress up in a designer gown, go to movie premiers, birthday parties of people who might as well been strangers, and the charity functions were never ending, always for something different that half time she had never heard of. But the same thing occurred every time she arrived back to her apartment, it would be completely quiet, she would always be all alone. There would be no more loud music, no party guest talking to you like you'd been best friends for years, even though it was front, because they actually hated your guts, it was what sat in the silence of four walls, just quiet, bitter, cold, quiet.

The apartment was just as she left it months ago, clean, and empty, not physically empty, but an emotional one. She had the best furntiture, she hired one of the best designers to come in do the apartment at her mother's insistence, but it wasn't what she wanted it to look like, it didn't feel as homey as the house with Peyton in Tree Hill had. Brooke set her suitcase down in the middle of her sitting room and took a good look around. And maybe, just maybe that emptiness was the point.

----

**Tree Hill, North Carolina; 7:00 PM EST**

Haley breathed in deeply, tears drying at the corners of her eyes. She had already screamed and cried and to be honest she was tired of fighting. What was she fighting for? And why was she doing it all? Nathan was no longer the man she married and a piece of her told her he could never be him. Who's to say she can't be happy? Who's to say that she has to loose? Why can't she win? As she struggled with the thoughts within her, tears streaming down her face, she began to see the world for what it was, and she began to see the people around her for themselves too.

-------

His heart raced, all though he was a man with a heart condition, he couldn't help himself. In Lucas's heart of hearts he knew that the calmness wouldn't set over him until he saw her face, until he knew that there feelings for each other were true, that they were as real as they were five years earlier. A few feet away in the armchair sat Julian Baker, a man with what women would find a fantastic smile, that would melt your heart, and Lucas had no idea who this man was, how he knew Peyton, or even why he was here in the first place. He sure did look pretty damn conferrable. Lucas fought the urge to punch the brunette in the face and instead sat silent, looking at the television screen in front of him.

--------

Peyton tipped toed out the door, and tried her best to remain as quiet as possible. She listened closely to the sound that echoed off the walls in the hallway leading into the living room. The sound of words trickling out of the television filled her eardrums. The words didn't make much sense, they were all jumbled up, and perhaps a certain blonde boy had a lot to do with that. She reached the clearing of the hallway and saw Lucas and Julian's back towards her. They both stared absently at the TV and she smiled a small smile thinking of what had to be going through Luke's head. Peyton cleared her throat and smiled a soft but unsure smile. Lucas and Julian both turned around quickly. The blue eyes of the man she loved quickly caught hers, catching her off guard. She blinked and tried her best to keep her composer.

"Hi Luke,"

--------

**New York City; An Hour Earlier **

Brooke had never known that you could hate someone with ever fiber of your being and still harbor love for them at the bottom of your heart. This is until she had to look her mother dead in the eyes. She had never really known that the hues of brown in Victoria's eyes could be so dark and yet so heartbreaking. Looking at her mother, standing before her, broke her heart.

"Victoria," she whispered all ready defeated. She knew the moment her mother walked through the door this very fight would be ensued.

"Well, well, well, Brooklyn, I see things didn't work out in that little hick town and now you want your mommy to take care of you, huh?"

Brooke gasped and her eyes traveled franticly around her loft.

She looked back into her mother's eyes and began to feel the anger rise up in her.

"This is my company, Victoria!"

Victoria rolled her eyes and scoffed at her daughter.

"Well, Brooke. Can't stay long, going to go get plastered at a 60-40. Have enough vodka to land in a rich man's bed."

Brooke sucked her teeth.

"Good Luck finding your next husband, mother."

Victoria shook her head and threw her hair over her shoulder.

"Remember where you were before this Brooke," She said reminding her daughter of things Brooke was fighting so hard to escape.

Victoria put her coach bag on her shoulder and left the apartment leaving Brooke alone.

Brooke felt her head spin and sat on her suede coach and rubbed the material over and over with her palm. Thoughts of Peyton and little girl growing inside her filled her mind. She sighed and pushed her head up against the back of the couch. And she started a war with herself.

-------

**Tree Hill, North Carolina 7:32 PM EST**

"Hi, Luke."

He turned around quickly to see her beautiful as ever, arms crossed over her chest, grey sweats blanketing her body.

"Peyton," he says softly. He feels a little sick to his stomach and turns to look at Julian, he looks at Peyton just to acknowledge her presence but doesn't look at her with adoration or lust, maybe just a little worry. What does he have to be worried about?

"Is everything okay?" She asks softly and she prays something bad didn't happen.

Peyton's figure moves over so she's now next to him on the couch.

"Yeah Peyt, everything's perfectly fine." A grin spreads across her face.

"Good," Peyton smiles and tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. "You've met Julian, right?" She asks and looks over to the brunette.

"He's an old friend from LA, just came out to visit." Julian nods his head.

"I'm going head up stairs, call if you need anything." Julian adds rising from his seat.

The two blondes were now alone is the living room and Lucas couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

"You look different," He says breaking the small silence.

"Really? I don't think so."

"You want something to drink?" She asks him trying to play hostess.

"No, I'm fine. Are you dating him?"

"Who Julian?" She asks like she has no idea what in god's name he's talking about.

"Yeah, him."

"I use to," she admits not wanting to lie to him anymore than she has to.

"Oh." Lucas adds softy "Is here to win you back or something?" he asks trying to lighten the mood but it does the exact opposite.

"No," she says firmly.

"Lucas," she starts

"Peyton, god Peyton…. I am such an idiot." Peyton looks at him wild-eyed, waiting for the words to trickle out of his mouth.

"I've done you wrong, Peyton I broke your heart, I hurt you. But you said no."

"NO!" She said raising her voice. "For the **last time Luke I didn't say NO** **I said SOMEDAY! SOMEDAY**! **I wanted to marry you then! I want to marry you now. But I 'm scared Luke. I was scared**." Her admission surprised him.

"Peyton," he said gently.

"Don't do that! Don't 'Peyton' me. I love you Lucas. I do, but things have happened."

"So you know why I'm here?" he asked her.

"Yes, yes I do."

---

"Mama?"

"Yes Jamie," Haley responds picking up a few of her son's clothes off the floor.

"When's daddy coming home?"

"Oh honey," she says softly. "Daddy's really sick, so he had to go away for a little while so he can get better."

"But he's not going away forever, like Uncle Keith, right?"

Haley swallowed the lump in her throat. Nathan wasn't dying there was no need to get emotional and panic.

"No," she said tucking her son into bed. "Your daddy's going to be home soon, baby."

"You promise?" Jamie asks her.

She leans down and presses her lips to his forehead.

"**I promise, honey."** She whispers and turns off the light and leaves the room.

------

**New York City; A Half Hour Earlier **

After unpacking her suitcase, Brooke realizes the left everything of importance clothes wise in Tree Hill. Frustrated she went back into the living room and laid on the soft suede couch. She placed her earbuds from her ipod into her ears and started the shuffle. She let the music take her away, like Calgon, because all she felt like she needed to do was run away, like a scared child.

----

**Tree Hill, North Carolina 8:00 PM EST **

"Peyton," he said softly.

"Yeah Luke?"

"Do you really think we were meant to be?"

She looks over to him stunned.

"Of course I do, I've known it from the moment we met to each moment after that…."

"Everything keeps coming back to you." He whispers softly finishing her thought.

"Why is it so hard then Peyton?" he asked her, serious.

Their relationship was so bumpy, so complicated, every relationship they'd ever had besides each other had been so much simpler besides one problem, they were in love with each other, so much so that each one of their lovers who saw Lucas and Peyton as what they were, _**true love**__. _ And the one problem in their relationships with others was the other person. And maybe that was the point.

She looks at him and stares into his dark blue orbs. "I don't know. God I wish I knew."

"It's the universe is testing us or something,"

"Or against us." She said interjecting her signature Peyton Sawyer sarcasm.

He didn't realize how much she meant that statement, how this life inside her, had to be screaming something underlying the two of them, _**maybe they were wrong.**_

After a few moments of awkward silence Lucas looks back up and Peyton, "What aren't you telling me?"

Goosebumps spread all over Peyton's body, he knew something was wrong, he could hear it in her.

She exhaled loudly as tears began to form in her eyes.

"A lot,"

---

**-TBC-**

**A/N: I could have gone longer but then I just couldn't. It's a good place to end it, maybe!? I just got a tad stuck here, and next chapter will probably be filler, concluding the day's events. Something just dawned on me a few days ago, about the timeline for the show. I was reading a story someone had that was set in current seasons or "the future" and they had the year as like 2017 but the first two seasons were one year and the 3****rd**** and 4****th**** seasons were senior year meaning that it would have been '07 four years later. (season 5) so I just thought I'd share that. I'm feeling awful by the way, so I'm going to try to update (and write as much of next chapter) ASAP. Bear with me, please. I'm going to have some of Nathan's admittances to rehab next chapter. Leave love guys:)**


	17. The Leaving Song

**Permanent Hiatus! **

**I'm really sorry guys, I've been trying for months to write chapter 14 and it wouldn't come to me. And sometimes It's good to walk away from something and come back to it later. I really believe that. One day I'll come back and finish writing it and make all of you who had supported this story happy :)**

**If you guys wouldn't mind checking out my new story entitled: Archways and Endings. It's my baby, my therapy, my heart. It's labeled Brooke/Lucas but here's the catch: I'm an LPer. Just read the summary and check it out for me. Just a try would be nice. **

**And also: **

**I'm going to be posting an LP one-shot in the next few days if I can ever get it done. So be on the lookout. **

**I thank you guys again for all of your support and I hope you like Archways and Endings. **

**-Kelsey**


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